Build Date: Sat Feb 22 20:00:31 2025 UTC
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How much force does it take to pull out nose hair?
Have you ever pulled out a nose hair and felt like part of your brain came with it? Have your eyes watered from the extreme pain? Did you wonder how much force it took? Would you pull out 50 more hairs afterwards, using precise measuring instruments, to determine the answer IN THE NAME OF SCIENCE? (More...)
Robotic Red Light District on the move
The next time you take a robotaxi in San Francisco, you may want to bring along some wet wipes, because San Franciscans love to get down and dirty in The City's robotaxis. With no driver to admonish you, or clean up after you, anything goes in the backseats of these love nests on wheels. (More...)
If you're looking for a way to make easy money, make sure that your con targets people who believe anything they hear and don't possess much in the way of critical thinking skills. That was the plan of a Colorado-based company operating under the names "Patriots Dynasty", "Patriots Future" and "USA Patriots" when they started selling "Trump Bucks" to MAGA loyalists. (More...)
Tightening of the scrotum is a new trend in plastic surgery. Although the procedure has been rapidly increasing in popularity, no one had thought to scientifically study men's and women's aesthetic preferences as to what makes a good-looking, visually-pleasing scrotum. That oversight has now been corrected, thanks to a study recently published in the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology. (More...)
Cattle mutilations are up again
Six cattle died mysteriously in Texas, with their tongues removed, the hide around one side of their mouths gone and no blood spilled. In two cases, the animals' genitalia and anuses had been removed with a circular cut that the sheriff's office said had been made with the "same precision as the cuts noted around the jaw lines of each cow." This is obviously the work of aliens from another planet. (More...)
3D-printed Cheesecake Squirts from Tubes
This week engineers at Columbia University unveiled the world's nastiest-looking cheesecake. The engineers were very proud of their creation which used 3D-printing to squirt layers of goo into an approximately triangular shape that looks like something you will never willingly put into your mouth. (More...)
German Brewery Creates Powdered Swill
German brewery Klosterbrauerei Neuzelle has developed what it's calling "powdered beer". Add the powder to a glass of water and you get a glass of what looks and smells like beer. What they're not telling people are the serious downsides of their new beverage, drawbacks that offend the palate and sensibilities of beer drinkers everywhere. What they've invented is swill. (More...)
ISO-3533:2021 is a requirements document from the International Standards Organization that defines the design and safety requirements for products in direct contact with genitalia, the anus, or both. (More...)
Canadians just as stupid as Americans, study finds
The self-proclaimed Queen of Canada Romana Didulo, who claims that she secretly runs Canada "behind the scenes," recently issued royal decrees to abolish Canadian income tax and declare that water and electricity in Canada are now free of charge. She also told her 70,000 Telegram followers to stop paying their utility bills. (More...)
Florida Man files petition to ban Bibles from school libraries
The Republican majority Florida legislature recently passed the Stop WOKE Act (HB 7), which prohibits teaching Critical Race Theory in schools, and the "Don't Say Gay" bill, which bans any materials or class instruction involving gender and sexual orientation. Since last July over 200 books have been banned. Chaz Stevens wants to add book to the banned list which is even more dangerous to young, impressionable minds, The Bible. (More...)
Amazon HQ2 building approved by Arlington County
The Arlington County Board gave unanimous approval Saturday to Amazon's plans to build a unique, buttplug-shaped tower as the centerpiece of its emerging second headquarters in northern Virginia. The new Amazon headquarters design takes inspiration from the brief love affair between The Flying Bum and Jeff Bezo's Penis Rocket. (More...)
Kids are terrible artists. They have no experience, no technique, no understanding of perspective or scale. When it comes to seeing something and rendering it accurately or recognizably on a piece of paper their abilities are pathetically inadequate to the task. (More...)
At Pigdog we post links to the best crap on the Internet, but sometimes the premium crap is behind a paywall, there to block you from reading the crap we link to until you fork over some moolah for a subscription to their crap site, just so you can read more crap! The good folks over at 12ft.io have a solution -- a cyberladder that will scale a paywall, letting you climb right over and read all of the crap you want, without forking over anything. (More...)
Women arrested in Moscow for not speaking
A woman in Moscow speaks to a cameraman. "I'd like to ask your opinion," she says, "If I could just say two words." She then holds up a sign that literally says "Two Words" and before she can finish the sentence "Am I going to get arrested for this?" she is hauled off by five police in full body armor to a nearby police vehicle the size of a school bus. (More...)
In the days leading up to the Russian invasion of Ukraine there was a lot of speculation in the media that Russia would launch cyberattacks against Ukraine and any other countries that were helping Ukraine. Although some researchers dismissed such speculation as a lot of hype, one thing is becoming pretty obvious: There are a lot of web sites down right now -- Russian and Belarus web sites. (More...)
Want to help bypass Putin's news blockade and talk directly to real Russians? A Norwegian computer programmer has set up a site that allows you to send up to 150 emails from your own email account to random email addresses inside of Russia. You can send them whatever information you want, bypassing Russian information blockades. (More...)
If you're not satisfied with spamming every friend and follower with daily updates of your Wordle score, now you can annoy and irritate everyone you meet in real life as well with a 3D printed Wordle score you can wear around your neck. (More...)
Now they're drinking their own urine
Without a winking smiley face or other indication that you're joking, it is impossible to parody an anti-vaxxer in such a way that someone won't mistake a joke for something that a sincere anti-vaxxer truly believes. (More...)
QAnon idiot dies after being idiotic
Cirsten Weldon said that only idiots get vaxxed. She recorded videos of herself yelling at people standing in line to get vaccinated, which she posted to one of her on-line accounts where she spouted QAnon conspiracy theories to tens of thousands of followers. (More...)
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
