Build Date: Sat Feb 22 05:50:25 2025 UTC
I woke up at 9:00 PM yesterday, so I'm going to save my bottles of stout for this afternoon when I watch Columbo. I'm really into Columbo now.
-- Ratsnatcher
Remembering 'Troubled' Former Disney Star Tommy Kirk
2021-10-04 23:56:28
You know him as the Disney child actor who shot Ol' Yeller and turned into The Shaggy Dog. On the Mickey Mouse Club, he'd played one of The Hardy Boys. But in 1950s Disney America, Tommy Kirk had a mysterious secret all his own. He was gay.
"Growing up under strict Baptist parents," remembers the Washington Post, "Mr. Kirk said his teenage years were 'desperately unhappy'..." And the Post finds other glimpses of Kirk's unheralded struggle. "When I was about 17 or 18 years old, I finally admitted to myself that I wasn't going to change," Kirk remembered later in an interview with Filmfax magazine. Walt Disney himself personally fired Kirk — and a marijuana possession charge that year (later dropped) wouldn't help his career. Soon the movies got worse — like It's a Bikini World, Ghost in the Invisible Bikini and of course, Mars Needs Women. But Kirk had other 1960s-style problems too... "I was drinking, taking pills, and smoking grass..." Kirk told Filmfax (in an interview quoted on his Wikipedia page). "I came into a whole lot of money, but I threw a lot of parties and spent it all.... I had no self-discipline and I almost died of a drug overdose a couple of times. It's a miracle that I'm still around."
In that 1993 interview Kirk shows honesty and integrity. ("I don't blame anybody but myself and my drug abuse for my career going haywire. I'm not ashamed of being gay, never have been, and never will be. For that I make no apologies. I have no animosity toward anybody because the truth is, I wrecked my own career.")
The great unsung triumph of Kirk's life may have been that he found his way onto a better path. Eventually he studied acting at the Lee Strasberg Theatre and Film Institute, Wikipedia remembers:
Kirk got over his drug addiction and gave up acting in the mid-1970s. He worked as a waiter and a chauffeur before going into the carpet-cleaning business in the San Fernando Valley area of Los Angeles, an operation which he ran for 20 years. In 1990, Kirk said he was "poor", adding, "I made a lot of money and I spent it all. No bitterness. No regrets. I did what I did ... I wasn't the boy next door anymore. I could pretend to be for a few hours a day in front of the camera. But I couldn't live it. I'm human."
This week Tommy Kirk died in Las Vegas at age 79, leaving behind a pile of fun movies (including a self-aware cameo in the 1995 satire Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold.) But I can never think of Tommy Kirk without thinking of one shimmering moment in a 1964 teen comedy that turns out to be one of the most unintentionally poignant things that Tommy Kirk ever did. Trapped in another American-International B movie (originally titled "The Maid and the Martian" before being renamed "Pajama Party") Tommy found himself cast as....an alien who didn't fit in with the other teenagers.
And so it was that Annette Funicello sang — sweetly and patiently — a poignantly honest duet with young Tommy Kirk.
Its title? "There has to be a reason why I feel this way."
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
40 Acres, a Mule, and a Crummy 90-Second Spot on Weekend Update
Consider the plight of the Black Man. The Black Man on "Saturday Night Live," I mean. Has there ever been a more pathetic thing than a token unredeemed for 28 years? Where is the NAACP when you really need them? (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)