Build Date: Sat Mar 29 10:21:04 2025 UTC
I'm getting out of Concord while the speed addicts on my block are still relatively few.
-- Master Squid
El Snatcher
Raised by anacondas in a South American rain forest (or born and
abandoned in a Memphis laundromat, and brought up by Quakers,
depending on whose version of the "truth" you want to believe,)
El Snatcher is Pigdog's fiercest attack journalist, a hillbilly
icon born and bred to unearth diamonds lost in shitpiles and uncloak
Bad People in angelic disguise wherever they lurk.
Three-time winner of the Pigdog "Most Likely to Harbor a Deeply
Personal Lifetime Grudge Award," Snatcher spends his days and nights cloaked
in mystery on Spock Mountain, an enigmatic figure in a blood-spattered
lab coat lurking the labyrinth hallways of his Super Sekrit MegaResearch
laboratory in an undisclosed location, where he performs myriad and inhuman
experiments on all forms of human and whatnot matter. Rumors have it
that El Snatcher lives on a diet that consists solely of broiled and
grilled large meat and fresh beaujolais from his private reserve.
El Snatcher has an undying, pitbull jaw-clamping-like hatred for people
who say things like: "Let's go debunk old granny ESP ladies and laugh in
their faces! HAHA HA We are SO SMARTY PANTY! We did a sting on that
old dowser guy! hahah! Everything not endorsed by Nature magazine
is a fraud!! Let's get them real good, har har! And we're HIPPIES!
We're BAD HIPPIES at the same time!! YaY!! I am a vegetarian skeptic boy
HIPPIE!!! We spy on people with our telescopes while we're barefoot!! And
this is our club. We all LOVE TO LOVE Carl Sagan together in paradise.
Let's watch Star Track and masturbate!! Yay!!"
Pigdog Journal Articles
2007-09-09
2002-04-12
2001-11-25
2001-07-05
2001-03-06
2000-12-31
2000-08-19
2000-07-24
1999-11-16
1999-10-24
1999-09-28
1999-08-25
1999-08-24
1999-08-11
1999-08-10
1999-08-05
1999-08-05
1999-08-04
1999-08-03
1999-07-28
1999-07-24
1999-07-20
1999-07-20
1999-07-18
1999-07-15
1999-07-12
1999-07-10
1999-07-10
1999-07-09
1999-07-08
1999-07-07
1999-07-07
1999-07-02
1999-07-02
1999-06-30
1999-06-28
1999-06-28
1999-06-24
1999-06-21
1999-06-17
1999-06-14
1999-06-09
1999-06-09
1999-06-04
1999-05-28
1999-05-26
1999-05-25
1999-05-23
1999-05-22
1999-05-05
1999-04-30
1999-04-30
1999-04-27
1999-04-21
1999-04-21
1999-04-08
1999-03-11
1999-02-24
1999-02-24
1999-02-22
1999-02-18
1999-02-17
1999-02-17
1999-02-16
1998-12-18
1998-12-17
1998-12-15
1998-12-14
1998-12-12
1998-12-11
1998-12-11
1998-12-10
1998-12-08
1998-12-08
1998-12-07
1998-12-07
1998-12-04
1998-11-24
1998-11-22
1998-11-22
1998-11-18
1998-11-16
1998-11-14
1998-11-12
1998-11-12
1998-11-11
1998-11-09
1998-11-06
1998-11-04
1998-11-04
1998-11-03
1998-11-03
1998-11-03
1998-11-03
1998-10-05
1998-10-05
Offsite links shared by the author
2002-12-17
2002-11-12
2002-06-20
2002-05-28
2002-05-28
2002-05-06
2002-04-17
2002-04-12
2002-04-07
2001-11-29
2001-11-29
2001-11-27
2001-10-28
2001-03-15
2001-03-15
2001-03-06
2001-02-13
2001-01-26
2000-12-08
2000-12-08
2000-12-08
2000-10-04
2000-07-16
2000-04-25
2000-04-11
2000-03-10
1999-12-17
1999-12-02
1999-11-19
1999-11-12
1999-11-08
1999-11-05
1999-09-14
1999-08-24
1999-08-24
1999-08-24
1999-08-18
1999-08-18
1999-08-18
1999-08-11
1999-08-11
1999-08-09
1999-08-07
1999-08-05
1999-08-05
1999-07-28
1999-07-27
1999-07-16
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-15
1999-07-14
1999-07-13
1999-07-12
1999-07-07
1999-07-03
1999-06-24
1999-06-17
1999-06-16
1999-06-12
1999-06-10
1999-06-08
1999-06-08
1999-06-08
1999-06-08
1999-06-03
1999-06-03
1999-06-03
1999-06-02
1999-05-30
1999-05-28
1999-05-27
1999-05-26
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
Raving over 30 doesn't have to be embarassing anymore. (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)