Build Date: Sat Feb 22 05:40:21 2025 UTC
I wonder if every city press club has an adjoining whiskey-soaked flophouse?
-- Mr. Bad
Kids art is freaky as fuck
2022-04-23 01:15:59
Kids are terrible artists. They have no experience, no technique, no understanding of perspective or scale. When it comes to seeing something and rendering it accurately or recognizably on a piece of paper their abilities are pathetically inadequate to the task.
However, if you take those drawings as a starting point, then get an actual artist with skills and abilities to render them realistically, you end up with art that is freaky as fuck. That's what Tom Curtis did in a series of artworks he created based on grotesque renderings scrawled by children.
Some people would think "What sort of developmental disability does a child have when they think that this is what an elephant looks like?" But this is not the result of fetal alcohol syndrome, this is the best that the child could do.
How disappointing it must be to have a child who, when asked to draw a picture of a panda, can't accurately count the number of arms and legs that the panda has, or tell what part of the body those arms and legs are attached to. How do you explain this lack of visual awareness to your family and friends? You have to raise this kid until they're 18 at least. If they're this inadequate when they're four, think what a disappointment they're going to be to you when they grow up.
Children's leg-counting abilities don't get any better when attempting to draw a well-known creature like a turtle. They're apt to attach the poor creature's head to its front leg, showing a complete lack of understanding of how turtle bodies work. If an actual turtle looked like that a compassionate person would smash it with a rock to put the turtle out of it's misery.
Absolutely horrifying.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
Extreme pimpin' under pressure ... how to tell a playa from a sucka ... keeping your hoes under control ... tips for mackin' success from Pigdog's own Terrordrone. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
