Build Date: Sun Mar 16 21:30:31 2025 UTC
If you are sober you should be trying to get drunk.
-- Johnnie Royale
Patient Joab
Pigdog Journal Articles
2002-01-22
This is not a new link. It is an old link, in need of a little bit more support, folks. It's called "Are You Hot or Not?"
2001-06-08
Does corporate stupidity know no bounds? Recently, AOL Time-Warner purchased Business 2.0, one of those hype-filled new economy rags, to add to its already overgrown, festering pile of fly-fattening media properties.
1999-10-28
So tha folks saw yr tappin' away at the codin' box, and reckoned you'd make more possum hides if you threw all yr meager belongins' on tha truck and hauled yr ass to Sili-kon Valleee. And they were right: you've made out better than Cotton Eye Joe! But, as the old song goes, you got what you wanted but lost what ya had.
1999-06-05
As all you E.T. hunters know by now, Seti@home has just started sending chunks of radio telescope space data out to home computers to scan for messages.
1999-05-23
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs!
1999-01-16
Proof that it's going to take a heap of hillbilly ingenuity to find a good home in the post-apocalyptic/Y2K infowarfare age we're all being flung into. Not content with a mere Mobile home, here's a fella who took a 727 and turned it into a right comfy home dwellin'. Complete with in-depth drawings illustrating the difficulties of getting the damn thing down First Avenue and much more.
1999-01-03
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate!
1998-12-30
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not really after you! In fact, many agencies that you never even HEARD OF are keeping detailed dossiers of your mundane life. And they're using S00PER SEKRIT high-tech to do it!
1998-12-24
Want to learn to converse all scientific, like the Spock Mountain Research Labs beverotologists do? Well, tan my hide!
1998-12-24
Here's something to keep you drooling moronic link-clickers entertained for a while: this compendium of stupid, weird, and disturbing postcards is comprehensive and voluminous. Enjoy your drug.
Offsite links shared by the author
2000-05-17
Robot Frank's page. As my friend April puts it, a kind of pre-futurama Bender in real life. Real Funny, though I'm not sure why.
1999-12-09
1999-12-08
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
Another Spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL: Home of The Deathwave Bar & Grill! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
