Build Date: Wed Apr 16 17:00:54 2025 UTC
I think you're less of a freak than you want to be but more of a freak than you want to admit to your mom.
-- Tjames Madison
Another Jackboot Footprint on Your Face -- Reported 1998-12-24 22:07 by Flesh | |
![]() |
Welcome to Seattle Washington, land of Grunge, Starbucks Coffee, Microsoft and the Space Needle. At one time, it was known for individuality and personal responsibility. Not any more. Washington Democratic legislator Mike Heavy is proposing two new bills. One is that drivers caught with a blood alcohol level between point-zero-two and the legal limit of point-zero- eight lose their licenses for a month. The other one proposes that an establishment that doesn't cut off someone who is obviously intoxicated, and causes either herself, or someone else, to be killed or be maimed, can be sued for damages. He told KIRO he's braced for opposition from the liquor industry, and in his words, "everyone who thinks they [sic] have a right to stop for a few drinks on the way home from work." The bill is scheduled for its first hearing Friday. That's .02 people. That's less than a can of beer! A goddamn cheap Budweiser beer will get your driving privileges taken away for a month! To make matters worse, I sent out an alert to many friends who I thought would be be interested in this. Their reaction was one of supporting these horrible proposals. I was thinking about this on the way home tonight. Why would they support these ideas? Well, I have come to several conclusions that I'll now share with you. As for those people who think this is a good idea, I couldn't understand why they would support this. Then it occurred to me: in this area a whole generation has become accustomed to having its rights and privileges taken away. So, here comes along two proposals that will take a couple of more freedoms away (more than they realize). What the hell, they keep people safe and they won't affect me, right? Wrong. As it was pointed out, gargling mouthwash will give you a high alcohol reading, as will drinking cough syrup. Still go to church? You can add communion to the list. Are you a diabetic? Want to explain to a cop why your breath has an alcohol-tint to it? In all cases, you won't get to drive for a month. It also goes on your record. And guess what? It'll also qualify you for higher insurance rates. But hey, you happen to be a person that doesn't drive or doesn't drink. Well, let's look at those bills for a second...
What this means is that a bar/nightclub/any place serving alcoholic beverages can be sued, if it doesn't cut a person off if she obviously looks or acts fucked up, because she might kill/maim herself, or someone else. The problem here is this: How many times have you ordered more than just one drink at a concert, show, or an any event for your friend or your mate? Most people have at one time or another. Let's say that the person that you bought the drink for is plowed. And while you agreed to drive, this person decides she wants to go for a drive to some place else on the other side of town. She gets into an accident, and kills someone. Since that person had a drink at the club, the establishment may be sued for not cutting her off (despite her not even being served by a bartender). It'll be dragged into a costly court case, which will in all likelihood cause the club to close. And even if the club wins, it'll probably have to pay more in insurance, which means either higher door and beverage prices, or it just won't bother doing anything that will set it up for a higher chance of being sued. Now, let's move on to the next bill.
The other causes of a .02 reading have already been pointed out, and documented. Here, it would be a great excuse to shut an establishment down. Here's how: Let's say I'm an ambitious city attorney who hates rock and roll or any general form of fun. I would like nothing more than to shut a club down (regardless of whether it's all-ages or not). But how can I do it? Let's start with an all-ages club. All I would have to do is get a few cops. Perhaps one or two sets to set up checkpoints around the club. I do this randomly for two or three months, and I'll have the club shut down two ways:
As far as over-21 places, it's far simpler; all you need is two cops to follow patrons to their cars, and wait until they try to drive. In conclusion, both of these laws have good intentions. But by now, we all know that good intentions make building material for a slippery highway to hell. The long-term effects are just too evil to ignore. This will not stop anyone from drunk driving any more than the current laws do. The only thing it will do is make the government and insurance companies richer. Do you really want or need the government or another corporation effecting your life? |
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Poor Metallica. All they want is to continue to put out the same weak "Heavy Metal" they've been churning out since the "And Justice For All" days? and make gooey wads of cash in the process. The problem is, people aren't buying their bound for the heavy metal scrap heap, over-produced, uninspired, tired crap. And let's face it, their various commercial endorsements won't pay for the lifestyle they've become comfortably accustomed to. Resorting to lawsuits makes perfect sense, when you need spending money. But just one lawsuit isn't going to pay their bills. So, to aid Metallica, I've composed an open letter to the boys in the band, with suggestions as to whom else they might sic their lapdog lawyers on... (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)