Build Date: Thu Apr 3 01:30:16 2025 UTC
Innocence is for suckers.
-- Tina the Troubled Teenager
Fruity Hillbilly
2004-08-05 20:14:46
It's that time of year again -- Burning Man Season -- and that means fresh SCIENCE! Here is a new lab experiment for the fruity hillbilly in all of us.
Every year around this time, an elite group of scientists at Spock Mountain Research Labs (world leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology) work madly to prepare the latest research for the public at Black Rock City. The scientists spend literally thousands of man hours researching new technologies and methods.
Most of the experiments turn out to be dead-end pursuits that are never revealed to the public, but a tiny fraction of the research pays off. All summer, the scientists work feverishly to prepare for Burning Man, where the promising experiments will be tested on a population of over 30,000 human test subjects. Here is a rare sneak-preview of an experiment in progress. This is an unfinished recipe, and hence untested. If you try this experiment at home, please exercise extreme caution.
This Beverage Science experiment is best done outdoors, preferrably in a hot, dusty climate. This drink involves all five senses, including hearing, and is best consumed according exactly to the directions.
Fruity Hillbilly
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 oz. small batch or single barrel bourbon whiskey
- Raspberries (other berries or coarsely chopped fruit can be substituted)
- One or more banjos (recorded music can be substituted)
- 1 other ingredient
Directions
First, choose your other ingredient. Be creative.
Put 2-3 raspberries and your other ingredient in a shot glass. Cover the fruit with bourbon. Listen to (or play) the banjo music while drinking and eating your fruity hillbilly. Enjoy. This recipe also makes great gifts.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
