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The chance that anyone has a bomb on a plane is very, very small. The chance that TWO people are carrying bombs is infinitessimally small. That's why I always carry a bomb with me when I fly. It improves my odds of surviving the flight without getting blown to bits.
-- enigma
The Dangers of Underestimating Mexican Serial Killers
1999-06-28 21:56:48
With blatently racist overtones, Kentucky's fatbelly police are warning people not to take suspected serial killer Rafael Resendez-Ramirez for granted. "Just because he's Mexican don't mean he don't know nothin'," said Sgt. Mark Benard. "As shocking as it may seem, some Mexicans are pretty clever."
The meaty Sgt. describes Ramirez as "street smart," citing his history of tutoring individuals in algebra, geometry and English [yeah, you learn a lot of algebra in el barrio, we've heard]. One can only imagine that Ramirez is quite astute when it comes to the logarithms of the streets. He has been known to gang sign the quadratic equation to other members of the vagabond serial-killer world.
Authorities have also advised against anyone attempting any "heroic" acts due the mysterious nature of what they see as a rare phenomenon -- an educated, intelligent Mexican.
One would-be vigilante explained, "Wulp, we figured since he was just yer typical crazy, stupid mesican that we could just set up some tin cans, ya know, on a string and hang 'em alongside the railroad tracks all sneaky like. Then, when he jumped off the train all drunk like (coz dem wetbacks are alwayz drunk) he would get all tied up, make all sorts o racket and we would hear him from our shack right o'er yonder and have nuff time to git 'em wit da shotgun!
"I guess that ain't gonna work now since they's sayin' he real smart like. At least we got us sum good eats one night when a 'coon got all tangled up in der. Woo-hoo! was them sum GOOD eats!"
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It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
