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T O P S T O R I E S

In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)

Viva La Musica

Dr. Johnny Fever's last set

by Baron Earl

WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)

Substance Recreation

SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together

by Baron Earl

The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)

Viva La Musica

Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame

by Ersten Wiles

Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)

The Busey Clan

Gary Busey definitely involved in a hit and run accident

by Baron Earl

Gary Busey was definitely involved in a hit-and-run accident, but won't face any charges because he's rich and famous. (More...)

The Busey Clan

Gary Busey allegedly involved in Malibu hit-and-run

by Baron Earl

"Sir! You hit my car! I need your information!" the woman yelled at Gary Busey driving a battered Volvo station wagon before he sped off. (More...)

C L A S S I C P I G D O G

Burning Man Nonsense

SSM Decompression Issues

by JRoyale

During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)

Team Walken

The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy

by JRoyale

As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)

Special Ideas

Report from Spiritual Machines

by Arkuat

Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)

Life Before Unix

What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?

by Daemon Agent

They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)

Liberty

Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands

by Teufeldoggy

So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)

Cyberbillies

Escape to Spock Mountain!

by Baron Earl

It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)