Build Date: Tue Jan 21 08:30:19 2025 UTC
Work's a sucker's game. I'm looking into opportunities in the BANK ROBBERY sector of the economy.
-- Mr. Bad
Letters to Pigdog -- Reported 2000-10-17 by Johnny Royale | |
Here's an interesting item that just showed up in our mailbag. Seems some freaks in Germany are convinced that Pigdog is part of the great Tellytubbie Conspiracy. I'm figuring that some WebCrawler ran across this wonderful old RatSnatcher article, and we ended up in some half-assed marketing daturbase. And the funny thing is that he insists that this is piece of SPAM is confidential information. No, I'm sorry Robert, if you want something to remain confidential with Pigdog, you ask us first and maybe, just maybe, we'll agree to let you be one of our sooper serkit confidential information sources. But don't ever tell us to do anything... like delete an email, or not copy it or even email you to unsubscribe us from your damn SPAM list. You unsubscribe us. Cause if you sending us unsolicited email - you should know, we're JOURNALISTS GODDMANNIT, and we'll publish WHATEVER the hell we want! Oh, and one more thing, Robert... Tellytubbies suck a big gooey wad of hate and I'm laughing at you because you have to deal with them all day long. Enjoy your small pathetic life, Robert. Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 13:50:51 +0200 From: Robert Kleinke (Bitways) To: barfback@pigdog.org Subject: Urgent inquiry for teletubby toys Urgent inquiry for Dear Sirs, We are an international trading company, mainly serving the European industry. The Bitways Group purchases globally on own account and then resells the products to various clients. Our aim is to source globally and to offer our clients the best prices worldwide. From one of our own or rented databases we have retrieved your address as potential supplier of the product(s) we would like to purchase this time. If you can promptly give us your very best quote you might be chosen as the supplier we have been looking for as early as next week. At the moment we are looking for teletubby articles. Please offer any kind of stocklots you might have available. Please provide 3 (three) samples for evaluation purposes. In conclusion I would like to ask you to send your company's detailed address, your bank detail and pictures of the inquired item(s) along with your quotation. Please let us know your best quote as this will enable us to work more efficiently. Looking forward to hearing from you soon, we are Yours sincerely,
Bitways Global Sourcing
GmbH D-20459 Hamburg Fon: +49-(0)40-28800-304 This email is confidential.
If you are not the intended recipient, you must not copy,
disclose or use its contents. If you have received it in error,
please inform us immediately by return email and delete the
document. If you would like to be removed from all our databases
and mailing lists please send an e-Mail without any subject
to mailto:XXX@XXX.XXX
|
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
There are two kinds of Assmen in this world. Wild, hairy assmen, who put stickers that say things like "Why Be Normal?" all over their trucks and drink Corona beer and wear fezzes at parties for attention; these are the Assman Desperados. Our job is to ferret them out and expose them. (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)