WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS (cont'd)
2000-02-20 01:35:00

By Mr. Bad

Tjames

So you really use Comic Chat?

Yup, it's Comic Chat

Rands

Mr. Bad

Uh, I believe it's just MICROSOFT CHAT now, Gentlemen.

Tjames

Cool! And I guess you log it, and you can just pull out the best stuff later?

We layout the strips with MSCHAT and then do some postCHAT editing

Rands

Actually no... We have an humongous archive of FUNNY THINGS WE'VE SAID...

Rands

Tjames

Me and Snatcher tried to use Comic Chat once, but Failed.

Mr. Bad

Golly, pants, what do you think about that?

Mr. Bad

<insert pants response here>

Mr. Bad

I just wanted to add in some insertion points.

Mr. Bad

Sorry, carry on.

So, you go find your favorite, fire up Comic Chat, type in the CRAP, and VIOLA! SERIOUS GAYNESS

Rands

Mr. Bad

!

Mr. Bad

That's really crazy.

Tjames

Oh, so it's really a recreation of previous gayness, in other words.

Correct

Rands

Mr. Bad

But, seriously, doesn't using Microsoft Comic Chat put a kind of cap on the popularity of the strip?

Mr. Bad

Like, eventually some MS bastard is going to find out and come kill you all in your sleep.

Mr. Bad

They will rage like Thor in your bungholes with legal whahoozits.

A lot of folks have NONE CLUE that we use Comic Chat... Others rip on us for it... Microsoft is trying to kill MSCHAT, so less and less people have a clue

Rands

Mr. Bad

Yeah, I was talking to someone about Jerk City and he thought it was all hand-drawn.

Tjames

Yeah, I was reading your press mentions and whatnot, and a lot of people seemed to have NO clue that you were doing anything 1) based on IRC or 2) with a program like Comic chat. They just thought you were all really disturbed.

Actually, we got concerned at one point when we got flooded with MSFT hits... so I reviewed the license included with MSCHAT... turns out it's the same one as they ship with Office.

Rands

Mr. Bad

You have a reference to some crazy comic artist on your site...

Mr. Bad

Shit, I can remember the name. Frank something.

Jim Woodring -- He did the art for MSCHAT -- He loves us. We love him.

Rands

Mr. Bad

Ah-HAH!

Mr. Bad

Really, he's seen your site?

We received a very nice letter from him recently asking for a reciprocal link and ripping on MSFT.

Rands

Mr. Bad

!!!

Mr. Bad

That's really great. But wouldn't Microsoft own the license to all the characters and stuff?

No, it's the same license as Word. I'll explain:

Rands

Tjames

If you guys get in trouble for this stuff, you should go on the Palace and do it there. Then you could be generic happy face type people, who could possibly wear hats. Or not.

Mr. Bad

NO! No way!

Mr. Bad

The characters are invested with too much personality now, Tjames!

It'd be like if one of you guys used WORD and wrote a letter threatening to kill the President

Rands

Microsoft's license says something like "We assume no responsibility for any goofy shit that you do with our products"

Rands

Mr. Bad

Excelente!

Quite.

Rands

Mr. Bad

Man, you're in the clear. I can't believe it.

Tjames

Yeah, but you don't make money off it yet, do you?

ARE YOU TALKING EBUSINESS!?!?!?1

Rands

Mr. Bad

Yeah, tjames, so therefore it's totally invalid.

Tjames

I'm talking GAYBUSINESS.

Mr. Bad

Yeah, what's your BUSINESS PLAN?

Tjames

How will these windows affect my original documents?

Mr. Bad

Do you have a BURN RATE?

Jerkcity's popularity was a surprise.

Rands

Mr. Bad

Really?

And when you look at the hits/day, you think 'JESUS WE CAN MAKE CA$H HERE SOMEHOW"

Rands

Mr. Bad

SO you underestimated the public's appetite for cocksucking jokes?

But we have day jobs and ECOMMERCE IS HARD WORK.

Rands

Mr. Bad

MAKE MONEY FA$$T in your OWN HOME

Mr. Bad

WITH PRICKS

Tjames

We tried to make money with porn for awhile.

I'd expect t-shirts, bumperstickers, and CRAP LIKE THAT

Rands

tjames: who hasn't?

Rands

Mr. Bad

That'd probably cross some line for MS, though, I bet.

Tjames

Yeah, but we took pictures of ourselves and stuck them on pictures of people fucking. So that's the different part.

Agreed. I'd imagine we'd use popular sayings rather than artwork

Rands

Mr. Bad

Like, you can do a screenshot of the Paperclip, but you can't make a T-shirt.

Mr. Bad

Yes, that would work wonderfully.

Mr. Bad

But, selling T-shirts is a major pain in the ass, too.

Selling anything on the 'net is a hassle WHEN YOU'RE FAT AND LAZY LIKE US

Rands

Tjames

I think Pigdog can relate to that.

Mr. Bad

So, the Jerk City content is mostly stuff from a long time ago?

Mr. Bad

Do you get together now, and then feel all pressured to be funny?

No. We're always online in this "chat room" -- tomorrow's jerkcity could be from a conversation tonight

Rands

Tjames

They don't have to be funny. They just have to say things like "Perhaps bonghits will fix my makefile." That's just the kind of thing you say when you do too much IRCing.

Mr. Bad

Good, because it'd be really lame to have a lot of Milli Vanilli jokes in tomorrow's Jerk City.

heheheh -- a great line.

Rands

In this "chat room

Rands

"

Rands

Mr. Bad

Yes, you can even have 4 plain panels, with nothing in them.

We're always in character... It's pretty sick.

Rands

Mr. Bad

Well, are the characters -you-?

Mr. Bad

Or, rather, how you'd goof around anyways, with other people?

Mr. Bad

Or do you become rands only in this particular environment?

Yes, each character is "us" and has it's own "characteristics"

Rands

Tjames

Who does the technical part of putting together the site?

Pants does most of the webmastering at this point because he's a PERL WIZARD

Rands

Tjames

Is it automated stuff, like dynamic HTML?

Mr. Bad

<insert pants response here>

He's always tinkering WITH SHIT AND BREAKING THINGS but HE'S FAT

Rands

Mr. Bad

Do you mean PHAT or FAT?

Both, actually.

Rands

Mr. Bad

Like the programmer guy in Jurassic Park?

Less annoying.

Rands

Mr. Bad

OK, I'm getting a read on him.

Mr. Bad

So, have you seen this page? http://manero.pitas.com/ ?

Tjames

Sounds sort of like Johnny Royale.

Looking..

Rands

Mr. Bad

Oh, I figured that was one of your folks.

DID SOMEONE UNPLUG THE INTERNET!?!?!?!?!??!

Rands

Still loading...

Rands

Mr. Bad

Tjames keeps the INternet in a box under his sink.

Mr. Bad

It sometimes gets drippy.

Mr. Bad

<insert manero.pitas.com stuff here>

[Quoted from manero.pitas.com:

[Thursday, January 20, 2000]
[11:01 p.m.]

pigdog
<rands> no clue what pigdog.org is -- BUT THEY WANT TO
        INTERVIEW RANDS AND PANTS 
<rands> actually, they really want to solve the leisuretown -v-
        jerkcity mystery BUT FUCK DAT SHIT 

]

That would explain my CRAPPY ISDN CONNECTION

Rands

Mr. Bad

Man, you still use ISDN?

Tjames

I'm sorry. I broke the Internet. I dropped a canteloupe on it.

Mr. Bad

YOu need to get SUPERFAST DASMEL from the PACIFIC BELL NETWORK.

Mr. Bad

With lots of pages and the AOL chat room window.

Ok, I see it.

Rands

Tjames

The cool thing about Mr. Bad is that he never has real questions for interviews.

Mr. Bad

So, I have you CORNERED now.

Ah, Leisuretown -v- Jerkcity.

Rands

SO WHAT'S THE QUESTION?

Rands

Mr. Bad

Yes! What's the deal?

Mr. Bad

I thought it was just coinky-dink, and then I saw that page, and I was further intrigued.

What's the question? :) <--- SMILIE TO INDICATE MY GAYNESS

Rands

Tjames

So you admit you cannot answer the question owing to gayness?

Mr. Bad

Is there really no connection, except respect and admiration and shit? :-O <- cock face

Arkuat enters the IRC channel.

Tjames

Go away arkie!

Mr. Bad

Arkuat! Jesus!

That's the connection. Leisuretown and Jerkcity production is entirely separate, but we do know each other

Rands

Mr. Bad

We're doing an interview!

-MORE-

 

eatme@pigdog.org