Build Date: Fri Feb 21 11:10:53 2025 UTC
Sorry to be such an annoying prick.
-- Paul Vortex
Scary Technology
Everything you ever wanted to know about Scary Technology.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2004-12-30
Ok, so this isn't the really the Johnnie Royale game, in fact, the author of this little Flash page not only doesn't know who in the hell I am, but happens to live somewhere in Eastern Europe, not that there is anything wrong with Eastern Europe, just that it's a long way away and I've never been. And since I'm jumping off this rather pathetic article with disclaimers, I might as well mention that our own esteemed Frank Jones was the PDJer that discovered this applet and laughingly named it after me.
2002-04-18
Tell ya whut, you've all gotta get GOLF BAG LIGHTERS. Ninety-nine cents at the 99 Cent Store. GOLF BAG LIGHTER.
2001-12-01
So, your computer is sitting there, idle, doing nothing but wasting power. What if you could take those spare CPU cycles and do something useful with them? Rather than crack codes or search for extraterrestrial life, you could join thousands of others and help track down the elusive Yeti using this special software...
2001-07-18
Yesterday the U.S. busted a Russian programmer Dmitry Sklyarov for breaking the infamous DMCA act. It is not really clear to me if Dmitry was jailed (and he is currently sitting in a Las Vegas jail) for writing a piece of code that defeats Adobe's PDF file encryption schema or for talking about it at the notorious hacker convention, Defcon, held this year in Las Vegas.
2000-08-07
"When an attack is identified, ManHunt images/begins automatically determining the source of the attack and shares attack information securely with other networks involved in the attack, such as an upstream network service provider, to track the source of the attack across a distributed network. ManHunt can also automatically divert the attack to a decoy environment, such as ManTrap for forensic data gathering." -- Marketing blurb from Recourse Technologies web site
2000-05-10
I love the web. Do you know why? No, it's not just because of the plentiful, easy-to-locate pornography and baseball scores. It's also because of stuff like this: pages with no other real purpose than to give you lists of universal remote codes.
1999-11-29
It's true!! It's true!! The Germans are Bad People, almost as rotten as the British! The proof is in the SCIENCE! German "scientists" have discovered a way to genetically attach glowing jellyfish goo to bug DNA, creating FRANKENBUGS!! Bugs with GLOWING GREEN EYES!!
1999-11-08
These days, we don't have torch-wielding mobs storm the laboratory. We just let our government make a ruling, subtly hinting that failing to comply will result in the same angry mob. By "we", of course, I mean "Japan". So when this scientist, Setsuo Iwasaki, wants to do an experiment on cell division to research leukemia. But the government says, "Holy shit! This vaguely resembles human cloning!"
1999-09-22
Let him who has understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number, its number is 5,878,155.
1999-07-22
Computer Underground Digest! Is still! Being published! Weekly! Mother fuck!
1999-07-22
Man, remember the days when you could get your computer confiscated just for having a Phrack on your hard drive? Or so they said. God, those seem like simpler times.
1999-07-15
Steve Jobs will show off a new CRAZY LOOKING laptop at the MacWorld convention in New York next week, aimed at students, home users, and cheapskates. The new portable has a massively reengineered architecture and a wacky new case.
1999-06-30
Some doctors carry medicine and stethoscopes in their little black bags. When an unnamed doctor from U.C. Berkeley came to visit San Francisco last week, he decided to bring a vial of tuberculosis bacilli instead. Whatever he intended to do with the deadly bacteria will have to wait until he can whip up a fresh batch, because someone stole the vial.
1999-03-11
Imagine humping 25 miles a day and then having to violently fling yourself into an enemy foxhole or tunnel, wildly stabbing everyone you encounter with your steely bayonet. Imagine doing that every single day for a week--without showering, without changing your clothes. Imagine that you are Canadian, and you have huge tits!
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2004-06-30
2001-04-15
2000-11-16
2000-10-08
1999-11-08
Wonder if it's wash and wear or dry clean only...
1999-09-22
1999-08-04
1999-08-02
'Curse Free TV' is a gadget that scans closed-captioning in order to mute-out profanity and 'other offensive phrases.'
1999-07-07
1999-07-07
Evil ad-installer hidden in BIOS
1999-06-03
1999-06-02
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
