Build Date: Thu Apr 17 20:00:35 2025 UTC
I sorta want to kill you real bad right now.
-- Tjames Madison
Pao Tzu: On The Beat
Pao Tzu's various musings.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2008-05-28
Reefer madness or a government fabrication?
2008-02-06
Ron Paul has not secured many delegates after spending millions on his Republican campaign. Note that the opinions stated here are mine and not the opinions of the pigdog.org staff.
2007-05-29
Today google maps unveiled "street view" which gives you a 360 degree camera angle view of the nice areas of some major cities.
2006-08-08
The War on Terror has resulted in a rush of new technology useful to the general population.
2006-02-11
Counterfeit software and the Russian mafia. Is WGA a myth?
2005-11-05
San Francisco comes alive with protest on November 2nd, 2005.
2005-07-05
Homies, 8-ball, cholo, gata puta... the homies is straight collectifyin'
2005-06-21
Car technology reaches a new height with the introduction of the fuel efficient, two-seater, Bin Laden Hybrid SUV.
2001-12-09
Pigdog's own paranoid FBI-tracked superuser has researched the web and found the best American-readable radical Islamic websites out there. Read on for the detailed report and feast your eyes+ears on textual and realaudio propaganda.
2001-09-26
There may not be a hot war yet, but the ice war is surely over, with old political glaciers dumping their contents into the propaganda machine. To add to the mess, I offer up inflammatory words that may make your blue blood bubble.
2001-05-14
It is time to scrape your pipe for that resin glob, looks like Uncle Sam just fucked us over again.
2001-03-05
Picture a world in which criminals utilized powerful cryptography to do their everyday business... wouldn't that next ounce be cheaper? How about your RAM?
2001-01-08
egghead.com frightens millions of users with credit card fraud hoax.
2000-11-03
KDE 2 has been released. Go to kde.org right now.
2000-07-08
SETI@Home is not just ay-leen spacecraft anymore. Now you can get PAID in a major way for heatin' up your CPU.
2000-05-16
Disclaimer: PaoTzu's a1 illegal mushroom cultivation cookbook is meant for educational purposes only. Be aware of the techniques used by hardcore criminals! Protect your children! Read, learn, educate. Do not try this at home.
2000-03-23
Learn how to construct your own empire! Like Intel, SGI, etc.
2000-02-22
Informative guide to getting you con-artist business off the ground
2000-02-19
ramble, rant, rave
2000-01-10
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes.
1999-05-20
Pao-Tzu reviews a clinical study of fatigue among workers using various resolution display media.
1999-04-22
E. Coli Meets the Internet--This week Pao discusses the newest rage in high-speed networking: organo-servers and bacterial streams.
1999-03-15
Pigdog Journal Gardening Columnist Pao Tzu describes how to make evil betel-nut concoctions in your own home. Powerful stimulants from an ugly palm tree!!! Nature is so fucking COOL.
1999-02-15
Green Thumber, Pao Tzu, explains how to produce "shadow people" and other hallucinations by ruthlessly cutting open your pet cactus plants. Make a mess of your kitchen AND your brain!
1999-02-02
Horticultural clone master, Pao Tzu, guides you through the ins and outs of stealing hallucinogenic cacti from your neighbors' yards. Ooh la la!
1998-12-22
Snow in Berkeley -- It snowed like hell on me last night.
1998-12-18
Iraq Flashback -- The U.S. has been good at attacking easy targets this year.
1998-12-09
Investigative Reporter extraordinaire Pao Tzu blows open the lid on an international travesty of justice.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
NASA's Mars missions keep blowing up and crashing, but dammit, when you reach for the stars you have to expect a few minor setbacks. Drink a toast to the men and women of NASA! Toast them with a Lost Probe mixed up with your own two (or three) hands! (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
A Treatise Prepared for the Gallup Organization on the Symbolism of the Scarab
Well dahlings, the response to my new tarot column has been quite overwhelming. I got three whole pieces of mail requesting my arcane insight. One asked why blogs suck so much, and one was a completely incomprehensible tale of bears shitting random numbers in the woods — I am fairly certain it was a cryptographic allegory. Howsomever, only ONE of the inquiries was accompanied by a crisp ten-dollar bill, and so it's the Gallup Organization that will this week reap the benefit of my wicked pack of cards. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
