Build Date: Thu Apr 24 13:30:29 2025 UTC
put down the patchouli
-- Donkey Hotey
Deadly Things
Pigdog Journal Articles
2011-03-17
These blokes attempt to answer the age old question... can you make a rocket out of bacon?
2006-02-20
With the growing identity theft problem in the United States, why is the government moving ahead with a technology that gives identity thieves another way to steal your personal data and allows terrorists to pick individual Americans out of crowds?
2005-04-04
...to tell that the Pope is dead.
2002-10-12
So, anyways, did I mention that I learned toki pona? I learned toki pona. And as much as I loathe the vapid philosophy behind the tokipona.org Web site, I gotta say: I'm glad they have a link to whywork.org.
2002-08-09
Like a child on Christmas morning who can't wait to play with his new toys, the U.S. military is hoping to test out new microwave weaponry for the first time in a war with Iraq.
2002-06-06
I received an e-mail from a friend of mine in India a few days ago. Raghu and I used to work together at a (now defunct) dot-com. He was the head DBA, and I managed all of the web infrastructure. Since Raghu didn't have a car and he lived nearby, I used to give him rides back and forth from work. We got to know each other pretty well.
2002-01-18
Top five things that make me fear and exult: 5) Amyl nitrate. 4) Car crashes. 3) Courtroom showdowns. 2) Sex in public. 1) the REAL ULTIMATE POWER of a full-on NINJA ATTACK. Suweet!
2002-01-11
Lately, it seems that Jerk City has taken on a darker aspect. Oh, there's still plenty of boners, pricks, dongs, and dicks, but more often, there seems to be a decidedly homicidal undercurrent swelling in the daily Net comic.
2001-11-03
How would one take out a suspension bridge? You could ram an airplane into it, but it's harder than ever to commandeer an airplane these days. Also, unlike tall buildings that fill the skyline, where you have a pretty good chance of hitting your target, bridges are low to the ground and don't have much of a vertical cross-section. Trying to hit one with a 747 wouldn't be impossible, but it would be difficult.
2001-10-16
Recommended reading for Californians who breathe or touch things.
2001-07-21
Ever wanted to work long hours for no pay at one of the most dangerous jobs in the world? A job where your only chance of getting ahead is to give some head? A job that's pure murder? Now's your chance!
2000-10-16
Discover Magazine has developed a list of 20 potential ways the world could end. Some of them are pretty cool. Others are Sci-Fi clichés. They obvious had to stretch to make it to 20.
2000-06-05
The life of Phillip Katz, the creator of PKZip, has come to an unfortunate premature end.
2000-05-01
In 1976, the world knew nothing about severe combined immunodeficiency, boys in fish tanks, or even John Travolta. But one movie changed all that.
2000-04-14
Sick of government buttinski's blaming the internet for everything? Check out these cool ads plugging super-violent toys from the 50s and early 60s!
1999-10-24
Every treatise I've ever read about how terrible "war toys" are mentions Lego building bricks as a constructive alternative. HA HA HA! Who are these people kidding?! Kids just make their own horrendous DEATH MACHINES out of Legos! The only problem: not enough olive drab bricks. But now an evil German toy company is making near-perfect knock-off Lego bricks. And they have tanks, missile launchers, army guys, and attack helicopter sets! Everything you always wanted!
1999-10-22
A woman died today when her parachute failed to open during a demonstration of parachute saftey in Yosemite National Park. There is irony involved in this. They say that 40% of Americans do not understand the concept of irony. I hope this clears things up for some of you.
1999-09-23
Bombs! Guns! Dope! Coke! Spiders! Lizards! Alligators! Scorpions! A Man That Lives With His Mom! A Garage Full of Lawn Mowers! Oh the horror! Oh the humanity!
1999-09-21
Turns out the guy behind the wheel of the London train crash that took out six people two years ago was known for "displaying "very casual" behavior. For example, driving the 125mph train with both his feet on the dashboard, backing his "kitbag" (I think that's "backpack to you and me English speakers), and blazing through two yellow and one red light before plowing into a "goods train" 470 yards beyond the red light.
1999-08-05
"Unconfirmed," they say! Like there's any point to confirming it seeing how there is NO CURE or TREATMENT! An unidentified 40-year-old German TV camera man returned from a trip to the Ivory Cost with a nasty little case of hemorrhagic fever. This could get pretty damn ugly if any fellow passengers from the man's Swissair flight start oozing, too. We may not actually have to wait a whole four months for the end of the world as we know it....
1999-02-01
I love it when the media makes some big deal over "new scientific proof!" of something really obvious like "Poor People Receive Inferior Health Care, Study Says" or "Taking 5,000 Vitamins at Once is Bad, Says Noted Expert." Well, here's another one: alarm clocks are hazardous to your health.
1999-01-05
Everyday the media bombards us with stories about the supposed dangers of drugs, tobacco and alcohol, all the while ignoring the real deadly killers-- falling vending machines, laser pointers, and sticky rice cakes!
Offsite links shared by staff writers
2011-03-15
2003-03-14
After exposure to radiation it is important to consider that you may have mutated to gigantic dimensions: watch your head.
2002-10-26
2002-08-15
2002-03-03
New US "thermobaric" bomb sucks air from deep caves and lungs. Al Qaeda members said to be deflated.
2002-02-24
When will OJ kill again? Here's a Paypal account in which donations for a dollar each will be taken and the total sum will be awarded to the person(s) whose guess is nearest to the day without going over when... OJ Kills again!!
2001-11-04
2001-03-05
2000-06-11
Coolio! A history of smoking, from way back to right now. Yippee.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
