Build Date: Sat Feb 22 06:10:37 2025 UTC
I've been told that I had a great time.
-- Donkey Hotey
Canadia Rocks
Useful tips when visiting Canadia:
- Canada has two official languages: English and French. If you meet a Canadian who just speaks French, try speaking English with a French accent -- they'll understand what you're saying just fine.
- "Eh?" is a verb. If you try to use "eh?" as a noun, people will look at you funny.
- Cuban cigars are tasty. Yes, those really are Cuban cigars behind the counter at the convienence store. To date, there are no known instances where not buying cigars from a country has caused a dictator to fall from power, so buy some and smoke 'em.
- Need a new liver? Go to Canadia. Health care is free, and they don't check ID. Just be warned: The liver you get may have processed more alcohol than the urinals at Yankee Stadium.
*Canadia is the proper spelling for a country where the people call themselves "Canadians". If the country's name was spelled "Canada," then the people there would call themselves "Canadans." Since they call themselves "Canadians", it's only reasonable to spell the name of their country "Canadia." After all, people from Germany don't call themselves "Germanians" do they?
In fact, chances are that you found this web page because you typed "Canadia" into a search engine. Subconsciously you already believe that the country to the north of the United States should be called Canadia. Thank you for seeing things our way.
Pigdog Journal Articles
2004-11-16
The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is having a contest to nominate the 100 GREATEST CANADIANS OF ALL TIME. In at #3 is Don Cherry, a hockey announcer. Is this really the best that Canada can come up with?
2002-07-19
Up in the Great White North that is British Columbia, Canadia, one lonely man decided that the local women just weren't to his liking, so he dressed up his dogs in women's underwear and fucked them instead. What's really got Canadian authorities irked though, is the fact that the dogs ended up dead in the process.
2001-03-30
About a month ago I received some SPAM from a "friend" which contained an "inspiring message." The message was a tract titled America, the Good Neighbor and it was written and broadcast by a Canadian radio journalist. The tract went on at length about how great Americans are and how Americans get bashed far too often by nasty foreigners, especially Canadians. I immediately suspected that it was some sort of sneaky Canadian trickery, and after a small amount of research I found out that's exactly what it was.
2000-06-03
Pigdog journal scoops every old media source on the planet YET AGAIN. Pigdog reported rumors heard from sources close to Microsoft (over a MONTH ago) that the software behemoth might just move to Canadia. (Microsoft to Move to Canadia? 04/29/2000 by Baron Earl) Now old media sources are climbing aboard the Pigdog bandwagon, jumping on the story like a swarm of rabid maggots on a pile of rotting meat.
2000-04-29
In an exclusive interview with the Pigdog Journal, a former Microsoft employee divulged that to avoid a break-up of Microsoft, Bill Gates may just move the entire company, buildings, employees, and all, to Canadia*<.sup>.
Offsite links shared by staff writers
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
