Build Date: Tue Apr 1 23:20:14 2025 UTC
A doctor friend told me that in twenty years he never saw a vegetarian
patient with disease, only trauma (gunshot wounds, for example).
-- Trevor "Fuckhead" Johnson
Fuck. That Dude is BLUE. Fuck.
2002-11-04 13:51:01
Well, I didn't think we were ever going to get a chance to do another "Y2K Madness" article on Pigdog Journal again, despite the fact that it's one of our finest categories EVER. And yet, this year's election cycle brings us a chance, with the story of the Montana libertarian dude what turned blue because of Y2K.
Dig this story: there's a guy running for US Senate in Montana named Stan Jones. He's a Libertarian, a Montana native, and he's blue. Kinda light-blue-gray, which is an especially weird color to be. He's kind of like Violet Beauregarde after chewing the gum only a couple of seconds. He's not big and round yet, and probably won't be ever.
Mr. Jones turned blue because of Y2K. How cool is that? "Y2K turned me blue." Jones started eating this stuff called "colloidal silver" (I dunno what colloidal means, but it sounds like "colon", so let's just assume he ate the stuff) in 1999 to help his immune system, because he was freaked out that after Y2K nobody was going to have any antibiotics, and he'd get the creeping rot and die. But the problem is that the colloidal (snork) silver gave him a condition called argyria, which makes him all blue and shit.
Anyways, if I was living in Montana, I'd vote for the blue Libertarian. Because he's blue! Fucking cool!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
