Build Date: Thu Jul 2 06:10:13 2026 UTC
Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.
-- Ross Levy
Natalie Portman built out of Legos
2000-09-09 11:38:08
Lego fetish? A twisted man spends seven months building animals out of Legos. But not just animals -- 14-foot long animals. And, of course -- Natalie Portman.
What kind of man takes a photograph of Audrey Hepburn, then painstakingly reconstructs it using plastic bricks? Demented Los Angeles has warped his mind, brewing an unhealthy fascination with toys, icons, and repetitive assembling motions. You know schizophernia has taken hold when you start to think: why go to a symphony when I can just make a bust of classical composer Ludwig van Beethoven using Legos?
The most disturbing manifestations are the erogenous hind-shots of a dinosaur. The toy pervert stands beside the life-sized replica, lovingly fondling its reptilean head....
And of course there's the life-sized sculpture of Natalie Portman.

T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
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Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
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Still Up For the Party? America's Dance Floors Are Graying
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The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
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During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)