Build Date: Wed Jan 22 16:00:11 2025 UTC
Kansas City scares me.
-- mediavore
Pigdog Disco Jackets of the Future!!
1999-07-12 05:22:58
Spock Mountain Research Labs' crack team of hillbilly scientists was given a very special assignment to "test-drive" a crazy new technology that only we could handle. Each volunteer was issued a lab coat OF THE FUTURE and sent out to party like it was 1999!
Xerox PARC thinks they are so fancy shmancy with their fancy new Digital Paper, but can you wear it?? Does it glow in the dark? Is it good for late night rock till you drop dance parties??! Of course not.
But, thanks to the good people at Cambridge Display Technology this will ALL BE POSSIBLE!! They have developed the Plastic of the Future for the Bad People of the Future!!! Fabulous!!
Soon they will be able to make all kinds of cool shit, cheap. Video phones, roll-up computer screens, blah, blah, and most importantly, CLOTHES. My favorite clothing idea is the special camouflage wear. You could put your special "I don't want to deal with people" jumpsuit on, hook up your battery pack and sit back while your suit generates an image of your surroundings perfectly blending you into the background.
Okay, maybe that wont work, but just think of the fashion choices!
And, just in case you thought it couldn't get any crazier, the inventors were able to start their company with the backing of the rock band GENESIS!
The best part of all this is that Hillbilly Scientists were sent out for all-night RAVE CRAZINESS!! (As you can see in the groovy picture!!!)
T O P S T O R I E S
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The Once & Future King of Dust
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Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
