Build Date: Tue Jan 21 08:40:14 2025 UTC
Hot Girl-Girl Action keeps me sober one day at a time.
-- The Compulsive Splicer
This May Explain Love
1999-12-20 12:19:35
Some crazy wacked-out sadistic freaks at Johns Hopkins Hospital forced a bunch of poor smucks to hold their hands in buckets of freezing water until the pain became unbearable. Half the guinea-pigs were asked to fantasize about sex, the other half were got to day dream about something dull like walking to class. Turns out shock! thinking about launching your moisture seeking love missile can help lessen the pain of freezing cold water -- or the fact that your significant other is a big pain in your ass...
This may be nature's way of allowing men and women to tolerate each other long enough for the species to reproduce. So next time the ol' ball 'n chain is railin' on you for something, remember, you've got the power of SCIENCE on your side! Just close your eyes and imagine balling that cute little thing from the office and feel the pain of failure, humiliation and defeat, float away...
T O P S T O R I E S
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Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
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Extreme pimpin' under pressure ... how to tell a playa from a sucka ... keeping your hoes under control ... tips for mackin' success from Pigdog's own Terrordrone. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
