Build Date: Mon Mar 31 17:30:11 2025 UTC
Our Man Zach: genial, Guinness-swilling Schweinhund since ere pig met dog
-- Thom 'Starky' Stark
Time To Kick Up a Shitstorm!
2000-03-09 12:19:40
Howdy. Want t'hear some fine ass-kickin' Country music?
Undeniably, without Country Western music, thar'd not be Rock & Roll, ah reckon. It's unfo'tunate thet this hyar true musical fo'm of America has been glutted wif retarded inbreeds who reckon country moosic is by doin' a bad, watered-down imitashun of Lyynrrd Skynrrd (which th' cow-fuckers in Marketin' will tell yo' is called "yo'ng country"). Tune into enny C&W radio stashun. Th' chances of hearin' Waylon Jenning, Johnny Cash o' enny other of th' thousan's of ban's & indivijools playin' tradishunal (i.e. REAL) country music is about th' same as yo' bein' hit on th' haid by a meteo'ite bouncin' off th' surface of Pluto.
Thank Gawd fo' th' Internet.
Bypassin' all th' various marketin' sueyts, lovers of music is puttin' togither Internet radio shows. In this hyar particular case, Mr. Lucky & Gus sarve up hot & steamah servin's of C&W moosic on their show, Th' DoubleWide Hayride Show. Th' kind yo''d speck t'hear eff'n yo' were walkin' into honky-tonk on some back-road in Montana. So eff'n yo've gotten tired of th' blan' & bo'in' cookie-cutter crap put out by th' likes of Limp Muzik, tune in t'th' Hayride Show fo' proof thet thar's still fine moosic lef' in these here parts.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Hooray! At long last, a NEW Spocktail of the Week! Kid-tested, mother-approved! (More...)
It’s election night. My wife and I are holed-up in this hotel that my political party has rented out for the evening. Outside, people are being violently beaten for whom they voted for. Is this South Africa? Perhaps we’re in Haiti or some Southern state during the 60’s. Of all the places where this sort of thing happens, it’s mind-boggling that we are in Portland, Maine. (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
