Build Date: Sat Mar 29 03:40:28 2025 UTC
Circus Circus is what the world would be doing every Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war.
-- HST
This Is All Herb Caen's Fault
1999-07-15 00:43:32
What the HELL is wrong with the pinheads who run San Francisco these days?
It's not like anyone in California takes this no-smoking-in-bars law seriously anyway. Last time I was in Los Angeles, for instance, the Cat and Fiddle in Hollywood was PACKED TO THE GILLS with smokers, and the bar even had ashtrays on every table! Har har! Great law!
So now some big-shoulder fancy pantsy San Francisco city attorney comes along and decides to sue a bartender for allowing people to smoke. Did anyone even vote for this law? Did they even put it to a vote? Now some hard-working schmoe is gonna lose his job because someone SMOKED in a BAR.
San Francisco: the city that looks the other way when people start a club where you can buy and sell pot but if somebody smokes in a fucking bar: "KILL him! Pull his ARMS OFF!" San Francisco: the city that hires convicted drunk drivers to drive its busses. San Francisco: the city that made it illegal to give coffee and doughnuts to homeless people. San Francisco: the city that couldn't decide if PUBLIC TOILETS were worth spending money on.
San Francisco: the city that never thinks.
Fuck you, San Francisco. Just for this, I'm NEVER moving back.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)