Build Date: Wed Feb 5 04:50:21 2025 UTC
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman
Place Your Head Here. The Jackboot Will Be Along Shortly
1999-12-13 11:54:01
If we believe the various panic groups, the world is a dangerous place to be in, and we need better protection. So dangerous, are these criminals that a system has been devised to catch criminals BEFORE they've actually committed any kind of criminal activity. Well, they now have. Welcome to the dawning of the age of thought crime.
This brand new computer system according to it's creators Steve Maybank at the University of Reading and David Hogg at the University of Leeds can "identify" car thieves, vandals, people contemplating suicide, shoplifters, muggers, and terrorists to name a few. Frankly, such technology is not only frightening, but obviously takes us one step closer to totalitarianism. Hitler would have loved this stuff!
I just hope that for the holidays, someone gives these guys copies of George Orwell's 1984. It'll make for good reading as the drag us down their slippery slope of good intentions into hell.
T O P S T O R I E S
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
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C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
