Build Date: Sun Apr 20 16:20:25 2025 UTC
I wish you were a Pez dispenser so I could eat candy out of your neck.
-- Gar's Sister
Stop the WTO!
1999-11-24 15:50:56
So, the WTO is going to be meeting in Seattle from Nov 30 to Dec 3. And they're gonna get a FACEFUL of radicals and freaks screaming anti-New World Order propaganda and trying to break up Business As Usual. BEAUJOLAIS!
So, this WTO protest thing is HOT HOT HOT. It's really fucking fantastic! The World Trade Organization is composed of the evil little gnomes who scheme and plan to shut down American businesses and send the jobs to horrible industrial slave compounds in Indonesia. They force horrible MUTANT GENETIC FRUIT down the unknowing throats of the world's populace. They CACKLE like madmen! The BREASTS of young MOTHERS wither and are BARREN in their presence! They stink like the ROT of FLYBLOWN CORPSES!
Anyways, the WTO made the big mistake of planning a meeting in the normally sleepy village of Seattle, WA. Don't ask me why, but somehow radical furor has coalesced like a WHITE HOT LASER on this meeting. Buchananites and Spartacans are joining in ANTI-NWO anger and fury. It's gonna be real cool.
If you know anything about the trampling of national sovereignty and the gutting of world democracy that the WTO represents, you should go see WTO WATCH now. If you DON'T know, or if you DON'T CARE, well, you should EXPECIALLY go see WTO WATCH now. Get educated, American consumer! Don't believe the free trade HYPE! Make the fuckers SQUIRM!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Ratsnatcher gets HOT HOT HOT in this classic road tale that looks at the steamy underworld of Bay Area Linux advocacy. Loosen your collar for this one! (More...)
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
Alright kids, this is the column where you write in with the lurid details of your personal lives, and I put them on the Internet for everyone to snicker at. But also, I give you a free Tarot reading, so there's that. (More...)
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
