Build Date: Sun Mar 30 11:40:39 2025 UTC
The ultimate sin of any performer is contempt for the audience.
-- Lester Bangs
Walken Super Dance
2001-07-05 16:24:14
Christopher Walken launches his music video career.
Most people are familiar with Christopher Walken's multifarious portrayals of exceedingly bad people. Who would ever forget Mr. Smith in Nick of Time, repeatedly punching Johnny Depp in the stomach (and giving him a good pistol whipping too), and "Hickey," in Last Man Standing, a scowling monster-man with a Tommy Gun; and of course the evil arch-angel Gabrial, in the Prophesy series -- a roll that Walken seemed born to play ("I'm an angel. I kill newborns while their mamas watch...."). But many people are not familiar with Walken's earlier career as a crazy song-and-dance-man on Broadway!
Imagine Christopher Walken -- then known as Ronnie Walken -- wearing a white Victorian wig and belting out showtoons. Terrifying! But I've seen pictures of it, so it must be real!
Every so often the song-and-dance-man-side of Walken seems to slip out. I saw him on the David Letterman show, and when Letterman made the mistake of teasing him about his Broadway shows, A devilish look swept across Walken's face, and he started singing a filthy sea shanty! And he wouldn't stop. Letterman had to cut to a commercial break because the sailor obscenities were flying out faster than the censors could bleep them. Terrifying!
Now it seems that Walken's dancing roots occasionally resurface too. There's a new FatBoy slim video, directed by Spike Jones, and starring Christoper Walken. This has got to be the best combination since the Abel Ferrara + Christopher Walken + Chris Penn == The Funeral. Except this time the result is really good! The Funeral was a little boring, which seems impossible, but also true...
Indeed, this video is so good that people everywhere will put on suits and go dance in hotel lobbies throughout the land. Christopher Walken even flies around like in Crapping Tiger Grouchy Dragon!
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Negative Nancy, touring the gin joints of the world, sent us her latest Spocktail creation, The Inattentive Beachcomber, which she concocted and field tested somewhere in South East Asia. (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Pigdog brings you SETI astronomer Seth Shostak to bring you the truth about Ay-leens (More...)
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)