Build Date: Tue Oct 29 14:10:10 2024 UTC
As a writer, I kick your flabby ass to China and back. Your articles are rolling over and BEGGING my articles not to tear through their soft underbellies and slurp up their intestines like so much spaghetti. Your articles call my articles "sir." Your articles pull their dripping assholes WIDE for my articles' slightest pleasure.
-- Siduri
Stop HR 2987! Fucking Fucking FUCK!!!!!!
2000-07-19 18:15:44
Gaaah! I HATE the goddamned Congress! Why must they step on our simple, easy FUNDAMENTAL HUMAN rights all the time!? What is the MATTER with these people! Fukkers! USA out of my stash box!!! is what I say.
Here's the dealy-do: HR2987, the so-called "Methamphetamine Anti-Proliferation Act," contains language that would make it HIGHLY ILLEGAL to discuss the proper use of recreational drugs and safety issues regarding them on the Innurnet. This would mean that excellent harm-reduction sites like Dance Safe, which give important health and safety information to people who use drugs, would be SHUT DOWN.
The fact is that people use drugs. They need information about what drugs are good, what drugs are bad, how to keep from getting killed using drugs, how to take care of yourself when on drugs. Why the Congress of these United States feels the need to prevent you and me from getting real safety information on substances we use is BEYOND ME. It's an outrage! It's a violation of our sacred right to be BAD PEOPLE in a GOOD WAY.
The thing is, this isn't just an anti-Drug War issue. It's also an Internet freedom issue. Why oh WHY should we as citizens be disallowed from peacefully discussing issue in our life? What next? Will you be prevented from talking about tax loopholes? How about SPEEDING or JAYWALKING? What kind of country do we have when the government decides what's legal or not, AND decides whether or not you can discuss repealing those laws? A BAD country, that's what kind.
So, do something for your personal and on-line freedom today. This link goes to a Web page that will send a form letter or fax to your Congressional representative to tell them to oppose this bill and NOT TO BE A PUTZ. It takes like 3 minutes to go through, and after that you get to act like a sanctimonious defender of liberty to all your friends. So go sign it immediately! It's a hot issue! Protect your rights to protect yourself.
T O P S T O R I E S
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
Mozart to be inducted into the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame
Joining such hard-rocking inductees as Abba, Chet Atkins, Nat King Cole, and Neil Diamond, the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame is proud to induct Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The end of summer is near and sirens call of Black Rock City are beginning to summons Pigdoggers from all of the world to Burning Man. Spock Mountain Research Labs (SMRL), the world leader in beverage science and leisure technology will be at our second home for a week at 5:00 and Infant (how fitting) as we enjoy the liberated lifestyle of a temporary community 200 miles from nowhere... (More...)
Things to Say When You're Losing a Technical Argument
Mr. Bad and Crackmonkey collaborate on a fine Mr. Bad's List. We put together ALL the TECHNOLOGY you ever need to know in order to STUMP your OPPONENT in a technical argument. Use these only when your back is against the wall -- they're definitely desperation tactics. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)