Wine Spockiodi
1999-08-25 21:24:24
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH!
Wine Spockiodi ("SPAH-kee-OH-dee") is an improvement on the old wino/hipster drink, wine spodi-odi, from the jazzbo beatnik days. Jack Kerouac and Charlie Parker used to go drink this stuff in bad juke joints on the outskirts of East St. Louis and then wake up in Seattle a few weeks later with unexplained surgical scars on their abdomens.
The magic of this drink is that it mixes two of the most horrendous liquids known to man -- cheap wine and cheap whiskey -- with a few crazy spices and a bit of Spockish magic to make for a SPECTACULAR SPOCKTAIL that will leave your houseguests begging for more.
I first had Wine Spockiodi with an old friend of mine from the Netherlands, GEERT VAN GROENIG. He's a bad Dutch Amiga hacker with an adam's apple and thin rimless glasses who spent most of his time on his last visit to San Francisco downloading techno MODs through my DSL line onto Syquest drives to take back to Rotterdam with him. Whenever he stays with me, I find bestiality porn mags underneath the furniture in every room for months to come. Stuck between the unpleasant pages of "The Horse Lovers' Journal" I found a recipe for Wine Spockiodi printed out on a dot matrix printer in 24-pt script font. It's that recipe I share with you now.
Ingredients
Brew ma huang (ephedra, mormon tea, Indian tea) real strong. Let cool for 24 hours. Mix wine and whiskey and ma huang in a large glass. Sprinkle VERY LIGHTLY the allspice over the top of the glass -- you're looking for a "floating" effect. Drink ONLY with close friends, and WRITE YOUR NAME on your ARM with indelible marker before leaving the house.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It's not like I have a heroin problem, see. I'm just a self-indulgent brat who likes to live beyond her means. When I zip down to my corner Money Mart for a little cash-till-payday loan, I'm really not planning to spend it on drugs. I'll spend it on sushi. Seventy bucks of interest for a two-week $400 loan is perfectly reasonable, if you really need that hamachi. (More...)
Canadia Revealed: A Brief Guide to a Large Country
Recently Pigdog has received many letters from readers who are apparently puzzled and upset by our regular coverage of the mysterious nation north of our border, Canadia. (More...)
The One I Feel Sorry For Is Joses
We've had a lot of Jesus coverage lately here at the PDJ. But let's face it, we're not exactly cutting-edge in this subject area. Jesus has been making headlines for, oh, I guess it's a couple thousand years now. Jesus is a very strong brand. Jesus has a lot of mindshare. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)