It was Friday night at the Casa de Baron and everything was in place -- a group of friends had assembled, people were setting things on fire in the backyard, and a Ferry Corsten double-live CD was playing on the stereo. Everything was in place to make further scientific advances in beverage research and leisure technology.

Ed was looking listlessly at the array of alocoholic choices before him. "I'd like a drink," he said, "but I don't know what to make. Could you make me something?"

I was on my fifth G&T, several people were drinking Red Tail Ale, Kevin was doing something with large amounts of vodka and lime juice but I wasn't sure just what, and I'd just given Ed's wife a Star Twin SPECTACULAR. It was time for something new.

"I could INVENT a drink for you," I said. "What kind of drink would you like? Sweet? Sour? Fizzy?"

"I like sweet drinks" said Ed.

"Something fruity? Tropical?" I asked.

"YEA haHa ahhh! Fruity!" Ed said enthusiastically, then he cackled like a mountain gorilla. I took that as an affirmative sign.

I grabbed a glass and this is what I did:

• I filled the glass one third full of ice.
• Added enough tangerine juice to fill the glass halfway.
• Added a splash of Odwalla lime juice.
• I threw in a shot of banana rum, a shot of pineapple rum, and a shot of coconut rum.
• Topped off with a splash of Midori.

The rums and Midori made the top of the glass green, while the bottom of the glass was orange-yellow, with rivulets of green running through it. "We need a name for this," I said.

"It's DELICIOUS," cried Ed, grasping the glass as if it were full of precious jewels.

I looked at Ed and noticed he was wearing a green-yellow-orange tie-dyed shirt, which looked exactly like the drink in his hand. Ed was color-coordinated with his drink. The drink's name was obvious.

"Who else wants an Ed's Shirt?" I asked.

Everyone did.

Don't you?

sadist@pigdog.org