Build Date: Fri Sep 19 08:10:14 2025 UTC
Yeah, that was big news MONTHS AGO.
-- Crack Monkey
Blurry Sharp Meltdown
2001-08-04 10:15:00
When you've been up all night sampling other Spocktails and guzzling absinthe, you need a morning pick-me-up with some KICK. Time for a tall glass of Blurry Sharp Meltdown!
The Blurry Sharp Meltdown is part chemical, part liquid. Take a tall glass, squeeze in two fresh grapefruit and three oranges. The juice must be FRESH. Bottled juice or (bleah!) juice-from-frozen-concentrate will just make you puke after you've been up drinking all night. Add two shots of vodka, Kettle 1 or Absolut will do nicely. Fill a second glass with DARK, thick coffee, a tablespoon of brown sugar, and two tablespoons of half&half. Get a small bottle of cool spring water.
Arrange on the counter two capsules of Metabolift (with Ma Huang) and a 100mg capsule of 5-HTP.
Put the 5-HTP on your tounge and wash down with half the juice. Take the two Metabolift capsules and wash down with the rest of the juice. Chug the coffee. Chug the water.
You'll feel refreshed and ready for another day -- not hungover at all.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Boo-zho-lay for you, Pigdog reader! Another fine Spocktail of the week is available for you. And this week's offering is EXTRA special and fancy, since it celebrates the birthday of Pigdog's own STAR TWINS! (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Tastes like key lime pie, gets you hammered like nobody's business: Introducing the Key Lime Spocktail! (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
All this talk about death, wakes and Moloch recently has, frankly, got me a little worried. What if I'm next to go? I could slip on a wet banana peel and slam my head against an enormous brass statue at almost any time. I'm not planning well enough for this sort of thing. Who will talk for me when this terrible day comes? (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
