Build Date: Wed Apr 2 08:11:00 2025 UTC
Oh, yeah, ok, that well teach me to read pigdog after several Guinnesses.... Err... ok, so I lied... it won't teach me anything
-- Johnnie Royale
Spock Center for Intergalactic Journalism Established
2002-04-19 15:29:41
The Communications Department of the University of Texas at El Paso is getting a new Center for Communications Studies... named after Mr. Spock. For some reason, however, all the stories I've seen on this insist on referring to him as "Sam Donaldson".
It's a great idea; Spock would make an excellent journalist. Using his powers of Vulcan logic to sort out active leads and parse difficult subject matter, and his ability to administer a paralyzing nerve pinch to anyone who would dare to fuck with his First Amendment right to gather and report the news, Spock would and should be a damn Edward R. Murrow for our times. So it only makes sense that UTEP is bestowing this honor upon him and encouraging generations of future journalists to follow the Spock Path.
I just don't understand this "Donaldson" business. Click on that link down there and look at that Spock picture. Spock eyebrows. Spock ears. Impassive Spock muscle tensions in his Spock face. It's Spock. Who the fuck is Sam Donaldson?
Maybe I could understand, though, if Spock were a little wary of exposing himself fully to the Humans. The last time Spock landed on this planet, if I remember correctly, he was forced to dress up like a hippie and cavort lovingly with sperm whales in a disgusting display of late-20th Century political correct egozap by the powers that be. Yeah, if I were Spock I would probably pick someone bland and anonymous like this "Sam Donaldson" character to hide my real identity behind.
Wait! I've just done a little checking, and it turns out that this "Sam Donaldson" person is, in actuality, Extremely Weird and prone to random fits of public gurgling. I have to wonder just what Spock is up to. I'm sure it must be some sort of plot, but, hell, I'm no Vulcan, so I can't keep up with that sort of high-order logic processing.
Let's just hope it doesn't involve whales or William Shatner.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Innocent San Francisco Mule
Flesh and Abby have moved to an isolated rural location in the United States - equipped only with their sense of adventure. Recently they came down off the mountain briefly to file this report? (More...)
Place the Lighter on the Ground and Let Us See Your Hands
So I have been thinking on this whole flag burning issue and all the things it could imply. Now a lot of people right now are saying that there are more important issues at stake and something so trivial is a waste of time. Believing such is really losing sight of some very key changes happening in our nation right now. Being a strict conservative, and currently serving in Iraq, I was surprised to find that I am actually appalled that the House approved a ban on flag burning. (More...)
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
