Build Date: Wed Jan 22 00:00:12 2025 UTC
Electricity is the invisible glue that holds techno music together.
-- El Snatcher
Microsoft: Who do you want to 0wn today?
2003-08-17 12:19:03
Microsoft Knowledge Base article 826369 describes a free tool from Redmond that enables criminals, terrorists, and hackers to quickly identify 0wnable computers around the world.
According to the article, the poetically named KB826369Scan.exe is designed to "scan remote host computers without requiring authentication [...] to identify host computers that do not have the 823980 security patch (MS03-026) installed." MS03-026, FYI, is the awful, awful RPC DCOM vulnerability, for which there are plenty of sploits available (most of which much quieter and more useful than W32.Blaster).
In other words, Microsoft is offering a quick, reliable, and unlimited targeting system to any old criminal-terrorist-hacker who comes around looking for details on the Worst Microsoft Security Problem Ever.
Heck, not even no-no-notorious eEye Digital Security included such broad functionality in their early RPC DCOM vulnerability scanner, released weeks before Microsoft's. eEye's Retina scanner (like all other free eEye products) limits s'kiddies to one Class-C scan at a time -- if you want to 0wn the world, you need to pay up first. Microsoft's tool also outperforms ISS's Scanms command-line scanner in terms of both speed and stealth.
If you ask me, Microsoft's utility sure looks, walks, and quacks like a "technology, product, service, device, component, or part thereof, that is primarily designed or produced for the purpose of cicumventing a technological measure that effectively controls access" to a copyrighted work -- specifically, Microsoft Windows, and all the copyrighted stuff that's sitting around on all those Winders machines. Free Dmitry!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
An innocent trip to the Central Market resulted in a severe attack of arachnophobia (and a meal) when a depraved street kid set her vicious pet spider on an unsuspecting shopper. (More...)
Three Days and 25 Spocktails: A Cautionary Tale
Johnnie Royale picked me up from the dental surgery. I felt warm, safe, cradled in the anathesia's loving embrace. The pharmacy downstairs gave me a bottle of Vicodin and a few instructions: take it with food, don't mix with alcohol, don't operate heavy machinery. I put it in my pocket and we left. "Do you want to go home, or do you want to go to a bar?" asked Johnnie. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)