Goddammit! Where's the Info On Mozillur Party 4.0?
2001-03-25 16:46:28
What the hell is going on over there at Mozillur Central? How come there's been no announcement for the next Mozillur Dot Party? How come why why why?
Seriously, this is a crisis of epic proportions. Somebody has to do something! The Mozilla project -- jeez, man, do I have to say what Mozillur is? The Open Source version of Netscape and all that? The big hoohaw of 1998? -- has been having these great parties around April 1st for the last 3 years running. April 1st, of course, being the day that the Navigator source was first opened up to the prying eyes of the public.
Anyways, they're real good parties! I always get seriously liquored up, and SMRL always makes a big showing. People love our crazy lab coats, and everyone dances like drunken bears, and there's lots of nerdos and geeks, and man, party central. There may be better parties in the world, but there's no Free Software party like Mozillur Dot Party, guarandamnteed.
So, like, though, there's been this strange silence from the Mozillur corner. WHY isn't there a new announcement for another party this year, which would be like 4.0 party or something? Frankly, the parties are the only thing worth a good goddamn at Mozilla any more. They should stick to what they're good at -- throwing big-ass parties -- and quit fucking around with this browser thing. It's going nowhere, nobody likes it, it looks like shite, and it doesn't work. Make parties instead! is my suggestion. Get out of the browser business.
OK, actually, the latest Mozilla builds have been pretty dead-on. I can quibble with a lot of stuff -- like, say, the XFPE, which is completely retarded and broken, the world's biggest waste of time and effort -- but the thing seems to work pretty OK. However, there are some cool Mozillur derivatives, expecially Skipstone and Galeon, which use the Mozillur rendering engine, Geckur, without the retarded XML UI. Man, I'm sure an XML UI seemed like a really good idea in 1998, but we all now know that XML is dumb and useless. XML UI! It is to laugh! How about a CICS UI instead? HAW!
Actually, I've probably just lowered my standards to meet Mozilla's current ability, which if you think about it, is pretty fucking sad. I mean, I never have had that much respect for browser implementations to begin with, so lowering my already dismissive standards is just pathetic. So, but, like, Mozilla is seriously stuck in the mud, everybody hates Mozillur and picks on them and calls them shitheels. But that is NO REASON to abandon their CORE COMPETENCY, which is throwing a damn good party. If they think morale is bad with the current state of affairs, what do they think is going to happen when there ain't no Mozillur Dot Party anymore? What kind of message does that send? "We used to be all excited, now we're hopeless losers trudging in a death march towards a 1.0 release no one is ever going to use"? Who wants to hear that?
Have a party, Mozillur people! Keerist! Quit feeling sorry for yourselves, ya pansies, and let's set this house on fire.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
You need to make a fruity tropical drink and you have no recipe? Here's a mix recently tested by Pigdog's crack bevertology team that's made with ingredients available from most any grocery store. It tastes sweet, fruity, and is perfect for guzzling on the last hot days of summer. (More...)