Build Date: Wed Jan 22 00:10:11 2025 UTC
[Pigdog] is bigger than you. There is no "I" in "TEAM", just as there is no "YOU" in Pigdog.
-- Master Squid
Bill Gates explains
2000-06-08 18:21:11
The internet celebrates the DOJ's decision against Microsoft -- by re-reading Bill Gates' 1998 testimony!
At least, that's what I did! Perfect hindsight now shows us Gates appears to saying to the government, "Please spank me, I've been very bad." At one point, the DOJ's lawyer, who was reported to be one of the toughest cross-examiners in the country, referred the Microsoft executive to an executive's memo to Gates urging Microsoft to continue its jihad against one of its competitors. You know you're in trouble when the prosecutor asks you coyly, "Do you know what he means by 'jihad'?"
Gates answered gamely "I think he is referring to our vigorous efforts to make a superior product and to market that product."
But the judge didn't really start laughing until Gates was grilled on Microsoft's plans to begin "pissing on" Java.
Gates: "I don't know if he's referring to pissing on JFC, or pissing on JDK 1.2! [Er,] nor do I know what he specifically means by 'pissing on'."
Ziff-Davis reported that Gates was then asked (facetiously) if he thought the phrase was a Microsoft code-word used for saying kind words about one's competitors...
Commemorate the day geeks have waited for for years. They always knew Microsoft was anti-competitive. But could they get a U.S. judge to side with them?
Thanks to Bill Gates' testimony, the answer was yes!
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Owner of 6 Medical Marijuana Dispensaries Arrested
Reefer madness or a government fabrication? (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
High Availability Guinness Stress Test
All too often we forget the incredible depth of technology behind the weekly ritual of TNiPN@*. We tend to only become aware of the strategy of High Available Guinness (HAG) when it rises to the forefront during a complete and utter venue failure. Yet we should all be super grateful that this system exists. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Clowns Take on God in Mysterious Annual Ceremony
Last Sunday's (the 6th) Grimaldi Service at a small church in East London was a red-letter day for clowns worldwide. About a hundred old-school red-nosed clowns made the sombre trip to darkest Dalston to pay their respects to clowns who died in the last year and to thank God for the gift of laughter in a bizarre ceremony presided over by the eccentric Reverend Clown Roly, resplendent in a garish red lumberjack shirt with oversized gold lapels. (More...)
What do Computers and Skateboards have in Common?
They both sprang from the mind of John Mauchly that's what. (More...)