Get One of Ours Onto the Patent Committee
2000-04-26 17:46:05
Stupid software patents! Gar gar gar! Aren't you sick of the bullshit!? I know I am. So let's get one of OUR SIDE onto the government's Patent Advisory Committee.
Hey, freedom-loving citizen! While you sleep, software patents are stomping all over your freedom to write, use, and share software. Companies that hold patents are crunching down on Free Software and end-user usage of common Internet file formats like MP3 and GIF. Not to mention the heinous misuse of software patents by Web companies like Amazon to stifle competition and prevent innovation. Gar gar gar!
Even though there's been lots of clamor, the Patent Office has been pretty much deaf to the cries of freedom-lovers everywhere. Enough! I say. It's time we got one of our own into the thick of things.
It turns out that there's a Patent Advisory Committee at the USPTO. The nominations are open to the public, which means with a little organizing we could get someone friendly to the cause into one of the seats. IMAGINE THAT! A man (or woman) on the inside, sitting at the meetings where patent decisions are made. We have a chance to appoint a Freedom Fighter to the federal Star Chamber, and stop the hemorraghing of software patents into the world! Beaujolais!
The link below is to a document specifying how to nominate someone for the job. I dunno about you, but a simple EMAIL seems like a particularly easy way to do it. All you have to do is send email to nicholas.flagler@uspto.gov with the following information:
That's it! Two minutes! There are any number of people who would be good for the job; some folks who have been particularly vocal about software patents and freedom include the following:
If you're a friend of freedom, you NEED to take this opportunity to nominate freedom-friendly people to the Patent Advisory Committee. You need to act NOW, though, because nominations close on Friday, 4/28/2000. That's this FRIDAY! So go there, spend a couple of minutes composing an email, and strike a blow for Freedom!
Up the Jihad!

T O P S T O R I E S
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
The days are getting longer and, as the man says, the nights are getting HOTTER! Lick your finger, touch your ass and go *Tschssh*, cause the damn SUN is out now! And of course that means it's time for a refreshing Spocktail that meets YOUR NEEDS for a delicious booze cooler at affordable prices. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)