Build Date: Mon Mar 10 01:00:38 2025 UTC
Well, my dad grew up below the poverty line - so I got a lot of stories about walking to school in a blizzard, up hill; both ways - sounds pretty horrible... so I want to avoid having to live in a neighborhood like that.
-- Johnnie Royale
What is hanty?
2005-11-26 16:37:35
Do you want to give gifts that stand out? Gifts that can't be mistaken for mall drek? Do you want to give a gift that says "love" and maybe "help!"? Don't fight the Wal-Mart crowds, stay home and make a custom hanty for your special someone.
Whether your special someone is a narrow-hipped Japanese girl, a slender boy, or a RealDoll, she/he/it is sure to be thrilled on Christmas morning to find a handmade hanty under the tree. Silky and lacy for the girls, or . . . well, silky and lacy for the boys, either the regular hanty or the masculine "snake charmer" hanty is sure to be a hit.
Grandma gave you a hanky last year? A HANKY? Who uses those anymore? Give her back a sweet-ass hanty.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
From the mixed up files of citizen 566-77-0776 (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)