Build Date: Tue Mar 4 21:10:07 2025 UTC
Tanks don't kill terrorists. They don't really discriminate.
-- Ragboy
Set Gag Reflex On Stun
1999-03-15 21:21:00
During the heyday of the Rollins-Shipley crisis, gentleman Web diarist Wil Shipley made much about his "substitute girlfriend," known only by her first name, "Karawynn" (and later just by her initial "K"). When Shipley shut down his site for personal reasons, citing a fear of hurting "innocent people", it was widely assumed by veteran Rollins-Shipley watchers that Karawynn was one person who Shipley was trying to protect. Well, Pigdog Journal, ever in pursuit of TOTAL COVERAGE, combed the Web in search of this elusive Shipley companion. Our research into her Web journal reveals the shocking truth: Karawynn DESERVES to be hurt.
Bleeeeechk! I dunno where to start - anyone who introduce their site as being "bits and pieces of me and mine" -- no, anyone who uses "mine" like that, should just be shot. No torture, no punishment, just a clean shot to the back of the head. It's not worth spending any more time on them than that.
Just to make sure you aren't drawn to her site outta some voyeuristic curiosity here is a list of all the juicy personal tid-bits:
* She had a tough childhood
* She cries when she is angry
* She loves British and Irish accents (I'm sure the movie industry loves her too)
* She lost her virginity when she was 20
* She doesn't drive, but she thinks the new Beetles are way cool
* She drinks, but hates smoking
* She has written 2 songs
* She's gotten over not being able to sleep naked, but she frequently still sleeps in a T-shirt
* She's polyamorous and hangs out on the Well
* She used to write under the name Melpomene (the muse of tragedy)
* and there's a game you can play to see nude photo's of her.
As if all the Web journals full of whining, self-centered shlock weren't bad enough, "Karawynn" (ugh, I wonder how many pages of doodle-filled binder paper it took to come up with that!) has a journal mailing list. You don't even have to go to the swill, it'll just show up in your mailbox every day! There's even an IRC channel where you can discuss Karawynn 24 hours a DAY!
Hopefully, this will be enough to convince all but the biggest masochists to skip this site, but if you must:
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
What the hell is going on with Sony?
Is anyone else as confused as I am with what's happening with the Sony Playstation network hack? (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Robert Helms makes a living volunteering for medical experiments. Though Helms — and almost all guinea pigs — get paid for their participation in medical trials, they are still "volunteers" according to a byzantine legal code. They are compensated for their time, not paid to ingest medicine. He and "guinea pigs" like him have learned the intimate art of taking catheters in their veins, tubes in their intestines, EKG electrodes on their nipples. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)