Build Date: Mon Dec 23 04:30:18 2024 UTC
Gentle Reader, The Word will leap on you with leopard man iron claws, it will cut off fingers and toes like an opportunist land crab, it will coil round your thighs like a bushmaster and inject a shot glass of rancid ectoplasm.
-- WSB
Seattle Heart-Breaker Seeks Single Male...
2001-08-19 05:21:36
Is Kim Rollins playing the personals? "She's got an ad up at the Salon/Nerve personals," one Washington-based Pigdog reader claims.
Sure enough, the address provided by The Kim Rollins paparazzi leads to a romance-seeking Salon personal ad -- and it correctly identifies Kim's birthday. (She turned 32 Saturday!) If it is Seattle's favorite heart-breaking web diarist, she's now grappling with some long Seattle nights. In the ad, all four categories have been selected -- dating, serious relationship, friendship, and "play."
Er, play? "Select play if you're looking for some 'adult' fun," Salon explains.
Refusing to provide "your most humbling moment," the romance-seeker nonetheless exhibits a familiar self-deprecating wit -- e.g., when answering Salon's boiler-plate question, "The Celebrity I Resemble Most." "If I tell you that people have told me I look like Nicole Kidman and you meet me, and you don't think so, I come off looking like a narcissistic pathological liar. But they do..."
Despite three years of ongoing coverage, Pigdog's passel of eager Kim-spotting moles just won't let up. "Her occupation now is 'content provider'," the would-be informant notes. And if still more random information were needed, the forwarded page also includes a description of what suitors will find in the bedroom. "Not much, since I sleep in a closet. Not a friend's closet, my own closet, and it's a big closet, but it's a tight fit and with the bed in there you can't close the door."
Seattle's mysterious dance of love continues...
T O P S T O R I E S
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
'Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch'
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
SF Hippies Can't Get Their Act Together
The annual 420 Hippie Hill event in Golden Gate Park, where large crowds of hippies, wannabe hippies, and hippie poseurs drape themselves in tie dye t-shirts and gather on a hill on 4/20 to smoke weed, was cancelled this year because the organizers couldn't get their act together. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Australian Troops Set for Days of Debauchery to the Tunes of Kylie Minogue
This weekend Australian troops in East Timor will be able to put their feet up and push all the images of mass graves and charred remains from their minds as they relax to the giddy melodies of Kylie Minogue - including exclusive unplugged performances in the militia-ravaged and blood-spattered border towns of Balibo and Suai. (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Our team of crack journalists went insane, and made the drive from Concord, California to Concord, New Hasmpshire on Interstate 80. Read the insightful observations of our intrepid travelers made on their journey into the heartland. (More...)
A Blast from the Past! Pao Tzu goes over and under the crucial variables in the production and consumption of Salvia Divinorum. A must read for psychonauts of all stripes. (More...)
