Build Date: Sat Apr 26 04:50:28 2025 UTC
The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer
-- Some drunk Egyptian 2200 B.C.
All Good People Are Asleep And Dreaming
2000-02-08 13:04:12
Firecracker-related fatalities are on the rise in China. People want to blow things up to celebrate the Lunar New Year, and don't give a rat's ass about the fact that it's illegal. The result: Dangerous, illegal fireworks in every home! It's Fatalitastic! What a ride! What a trip!
Now, I don't mean to mock the dead, especially not dozens of dead Chinese people, who may become hopping clawed vampires if mocked after death.
There's all kinds of terrible bad death at the hands of fire. Towns are burning because people were dumb with fireworks and other people were dumb with fireworks legislation. The laws are getting more restrictive, and nobody is actually really giving much of a shit about restrictive laws.
People may be able to tolerate Five Year Plans and the Cultural Revolution, but there's NO WAY they'll be willing to put up with people ruining their Holiday Spirit.
And isn't that what New Year's Day is all about?
T O P S T O R I E S
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