Build Date: Tue Apr 1 13:00:20 2025 UTC
Parse does not the above.
-- Doctor Obnox
Fuck the Issues! Let's Tear Shit Up!
1999-12-01 14:38:15
Okay, so the protesters include a set of stupid people. The fact is, they've caused serious problems for the WTO with their merry ragamuffin ways, and I say that puts them on the Environmentalist Santa's Nice list. Even the Commies.
But now, President Clinton is in town, police are declaring national emergency and arresting anyone on sight, and those who unbellyfeel WTOthink are being taken to the miniluv building. But people are still going out and protesting in big numbers. Big stupid numbers, maybe, but still big numbers.
Personally, I think this is going to be a major embarassment for the United States Government. Uncle Sam trying to look all cool and gain popularity by having the party at his house, and then his stupid nephew is throwing shit. I bet some WTO muckety got his feelings hurt, and is making all kinds of big Star Chamber threats which would demote Clinton down to a 63rd degree Mason or something.
I bet that Falun Gong is involved somehow.
And I think the protesters are all having mind control messages beamed from below by Mother Earth's psionic deathwaves, because they forgot to wear tin foil shoes.
Uh, what was I talking about? Oh yeah. Seattle. Protestors. Government backlash. Way to go, dumb effective protestors. You're still not getting any free love from me, though.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
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Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
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Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
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The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
Brother Wayne Lays Down the Truth
Flesh interviews Wayne Kramer of MC5. (More...)
Pigdog Journal's crack interview team gangs up on avant-garde Dutch musician SOLEX; bad craziness ensues. Yet another fabulous PIGDOG INTERVIEW. For REAL. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
My experiment is a failure. Rockstar-and-Robitussin tastes like day-after-Halloween bile. I'm trying to choke down enough to discover the effects, but no matter what those are one thing is certain at the outset: what I have discovered is not a Beverage, but a pale green and angry iced abomination.
You were right: science is not for the weak of will nor stomach. (More...)
