Build Date: Sun Mar 9 14:50:14 2025 UTC
When we get to legitimate threats of physical violence... you'll know that we are starting phase two.
-- Johnnie Royale
The WTO Protests are Decadent and Depraved
1999-12-01 01:49:34
Is it just me, or is it that BOTH the WTO and the chunderheads protesting against the WTO in Seattle are starting to look equally repellent?
Sure, the World Trade Organization is big-time Evil With Capital Letters and is probably doing voodoo on trees and Ammurican jobs even as we speak, BEHIND CLOSED DOORS and whatnot, but some of these protesters look like they would lose an argument with a ball-peen hammer or a variety of other simple household objects.
It's the "Fuck the issues, let's tear shit up" crowd out in force, and, as usual, they're being led by the usual suspects from the gleaming Baghdad by the Bay to the far south.
Like the damned witches, for instance. CNN reports "60 San Francisco-area witches" have made the trek to Seattle for the big marshmallow toast. "We are all connected to the earth and to each other, and we have a responsibility to have a healthy connection," said Marion Doub, one of the witches. She also said a bunch of other goopy, nonsensical Teshspew that isn't worth the effort to quote.
And like what seems to be about 90% of everybody else running amok in downtown Rain Central, she probably has absolutely no clue what she's doing there, except she'll get to chant and wave candles around. For others, the sheer joy of tossing a Molotov cocktail makes the occasion a festive one.
Three cheers for lockstep know-nothingism. Maybe the John Brown Anti-Clan League will show up and address the really important issues here.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
WE'RE STILL TOTAL LOSERS JESUS
Mr. Bad, Tjames Madison, and various other Pigdoggers of all stripe take on the makers of JERKCITY in a PIGDOG INTERVIEW DEATHMATCH. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)