French gonzo wannabes -- and a clown
2001-11-14 02:10:24
"We are the French revival of Gonzo Journalism !" their self-promoting email read. "Would you agree on a link exchange ?"
Actually, their email began with the words "Hello. Guess who ?" That must be some coy French joke. I'm picturing a pouty maid named Babbette in one of those frilly black-and-white outfits. "Hello. Guess who ?" she burbles, as she covers my eyes with her immaculate fingers....
Er, okay, 95 percent of my knowledge of France is limited to Inspector Closeau movies. And the cartoon version where the cabs never stopped for the Inspector, and he'd end up complaining to "Inspector Doo Doo." And that time Alvin and the Chipmunks sang a Maurice Chevalier song. But even so, I'm having a hard time picturing the "French revival of Gonzo journalism." Aren't all French people laughably preening and effete? By definition?
I'd tell you more about their web site, but NeoGonzo.com gives this message when you click on its link for an English version. "Who the fuck do you think you are ? I had to learn your fucking language to go and watch your god damn movies, so if you wanna read my words, go to school motha fucka, and learn French." Well, okay, but there's a difference between being gonzo and being an asshole. Not that the French would know. Especially mincing Frenchmen who open their email to strangers by saying "Hello! Guess who?"
So that's about all I have to report -- except that their web page has a picture of "NeoGonzo Le Clown." (Which, according to Babelfish, translates to "NeoGonzo, the clown.") It's designed to look like Hunter S. Thompson, but with a cute bulbous red nose. Apparently it corresponds to an article on the site which Babelfish translates as " 'The largest caberet of the world': the truth is elsewhere." I'm assuming it must be about the dark tortured genius of Marcel Marceau.
So at this point, I'd have to conclude that being gonzo takes more than sending an email to someone in which you call yourself gonzo. And more than tucking the word "gonzo" into the name of your clown mascot. It's customary at Pigdog Journal to end each article with a link where readers can check things out themselves, but in this case I'm sticking with the crazed neo-disciples that I'm already familiar with. So the link below leads to my best example of some true bad-ass French gonzo entertainment.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Deep Dark Underbelly of the Star Wars Myth, or Ramayana Remembered
It's a fact: Star Wars is a blatant plagiarism of an ancient Asian legend, and the long lines of devout Star Wars freaks are really unscrupulous Asian copyright busters. From Indonesia to Thailand to Nepal, videos are available for sale or rent before they're even released in the US and UK due to this nerdy camcorder-clutching bunch. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
It's winter in Idaho, and Boise personality "Lego-Man" reports on how he celebrated Thanksgiving. "I fed my wife, mother and sister wine slurpies!" (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)