Build Date: Thu Apr 3 00:40:17 2025 UTC
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa
Protest prompts George W. Bush to step down from office
2005-11-05 09:56:33
San Francisco comes alive with protest on November 2nd, 2005.
Nov. 2, 2005. San Francisco, CA. Massive drum circles, semi-coherent chanting of "The World Can't Wait", protest signs demanding the dismantling of the Bush administration.
Myself, thinking, "haven't these people read the news in the last 5 years?"
It's almost noon, there are students everywhere, smoking weed, some likely to be on acid. How do I find a hit? Moving through the crowd, getting snubbed by cliques of hippies who don't want to share, I met a friendly person. I interviewed him, a 14-year old young man named T'won, about his views on politics.
PaoTzu: Hello T'won, will you tell the people of the world what you are doing here today?
T'won: Call me T.
PaoTzu: Okay, T. What brought you here today?
T'won: I wanted to see Cindy Sheenan and cut out of school.
PaoTzu: Fair enough, let me get to the point. Do you know where there are any doses?
T'won: What?
PaoTzu: You know, acid.
T'won: (ignores me and walks off)
All the people get up and start marching, like a swarm of ants descending on the crumbs of a sugar cookie. Kids start blocking the streets and start their own little smoke-out drum circles in the middle of the road. I really needed something to take the edge off being in this crowd, so I join them. The police begin speaking through their megaphones, and I attempt to interview them from within the circle about the Bush administration and domestic policies.
Police: (unintelligible)
PaoTzu: Say what?
Police: Disperse from (unintelligible) blocking traffic.
PaoTzu: Hold on, I need to get a hit of this.
Police: (unintelligible) This is your last warning.
PaoTzu: Okay, okay, let me just ask you...
With that, the police rushed up to us with batons. They cracked me in the shoulder a few times before I crumpled over onto the ground. I was laying there, incapacitated, being kicked and dragged. The street signs said Market & Hyde. I summoned all of my strength and tried to run for the border... to get to 8th St. Stumbling and near passing out, I held the joint tightly in my hand. It was still burning, but I didn't care. This was for my freedom, my country.
I awoke covered in a memorial of hippie crystals, burning incense, and patchouli. A woman said to me "Yea! Bush Step Down!!" Of all of Bush's injustices: Abu Gharib, CD Copy Protection, Food Stamp Debit Cards... someone had stolen the joint back from me. I blame George W. Sir, it is time for you to step down.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Boo-zho-lay for you, Pigdog reader! Another fine Spocktail of the week is available for you. And this week's offering is EXTRA special and fancy, since it celebrates the birthday of Pigdog's own STAR TWINS! (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
The Walken / Country Bear Conspiracy
As has been recently reported in the PDJ, Christopher Walken, evil s00per villain extraordinaire, will be appearing next month in Disney's newest release, The Country Bear Movie. Always playing some wicked and very disturbed badass in movies like Sleepy Hollow, Illuminata, The Prophecy I, II, III, Pulp Fiction, Batman Returns, The Milagro Beanfield War, A View to a Kill, The Dogs of War, Heaven's Gate, and The Deer Hunter, Walken is unsuprisingly a big favorite in the PDJ news room. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
I just came across this coolio essay by Pigdog Journal Science Editor binky wedged between two staves in the back corner of the submissions barrel. It's on the origin of the cyberbilly and is definitely de rigeur for any serious student of this fascinating sociological movement. (More...)