Build Date: Sat Oct 18 05:40:14 2025 UTC
He made a CD of nothing but midget porn...he found it all on the Internet...
-- Dr. Murdock
KDE 2
2000-11-03 00:27:41
KDE 2 has been released. Go to kde.org right now.
The much anticipated release of KDE version 2.0 is finally here. We can all rejoice and forget about trying to cope with the fucked up way Gnome scrolls between desktops when you move the mouse around. Even more spectacular are the fancy ass graphics. No longer can spacey Windows (as well as whiney little Mac) users feel confident in the aesthetics of their window manager. KDE 2 has graduated to glowing gradients, beautiful bevels, and state of the art stipling. This is the kind of desktop environment that will make a straight man want to decorate his living room, a goth want to wear fuschia, and a gutter punk want to colorize their safety pins. The "tip of the day" isn't even annoying. It features a kharacter from Ktolkien's Klord of the Krings as the overseer of higher knowledge which will make even the fussiest of point and clickers never touch the checkbox to disable it. The help files are complete and come in all sorts of languages, even esperanto. In fact, the user can set all the menus to run in esperanto, falling back on another popular technical language such as turkish or czech if the appropriate translation is not available for Gnulactic Konquest. KDE Toys have been enhanced with The Tea Cooker and AMOR (amusing misuse of resources). The tea cooker is a program which will remind the user when their tea, be it earl grey, fruit, or some user defined (i.e. psilocybe) tea is finished brewing. AMOR, or as I coined during my last acid trip, pacman on crack, is a friendly looking smiley face which does various annoying human-like gestures on the window titlebars giving a personal touch to the desktop. Other features include a full office suite so that you can produce microsoftish documents suitable to photocopy a hundred times over, DivX and MPEG 4 support to watch illegal pirated movies before they reach the video store, and an improved Korganizer scheduler to remind the user of their monthly genital washing and armpit deodorizing before their usual fourteen hour daily coding session. All in all, KDE 2 is less hassle to compile than slitting a Garcia y Vegas cigar with a key, filling the empty wrapper with finely ground buds, gnawing on one side of the tobacco to create a jagged edge, and then slobbering all over both faces of this edge to force the tobacco wrapper to adhere to itself through jagged slobbery self-adherence.
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Datelined "Historic Mariposa," the fateful press release came in like an angry wind, announcing the release of a self-produced album, "Ordinary Hero," by occasional Pigdog contributor Thom Stark, in the language and tone of a Major Event, setting off a brief firestorm around the pigdog mailing list. (More...)
It was early in May last year when I first heard about Spock Mountain Research Labs. I was working on a story about a Hungarian scientist's new approach to nucleopeptide synthesis when I got a call from my friend Albert. (More...)
Vacationing from Somnambulant Narrow Realities
So about six months ago, I was chilling in Chang Mai, Thailand with ICBINJ, perursing the Bangkok Times over my banana pancake and Big Chang breakfast when I spotted this article reprinted from the LA Times. It was about some kooks from California (where else?) who were claiming to have been to the front lines in Afgahnistan in mid-December and had recorded the whole feat on their website. "Holy Fuck!" I thought, "Now That's web journalism. Who are these guys!?" (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
