Build Date: Tue Jan 21 08:20:15 2025 UTC
Bill Gates is such an idiot he had initials burned into my ass.
-- rotten elf
KDE 2
2000-11-03 00:27:41
KDE 2 has been released. Go to kde.org right now.
The much anticipated release of KDE version 2.0 is finally here. We can all rejoice and forget about trying to cope with the fucked up way Gnome scrolls between desktops when you move the mouse around. Even more spectacular are the fancy ass graphics. No longer can spacey Windows (as well as whiney little Mac) users feel confident in the aesthetics of their window manager. KDE 2 has graduated to glowing gradients, beautiful bevels, and state of the art stipling. This is the kind of desktop environment that will make a straight man want to decorate his living room, a goth want to wear fuschia, and a gutter punk want to colorize their safety pins. The "tip of the day" isn't even annoying. It features a kharacter from Ktolkien's Klord of the Krings as the overseer of higher knowledge which will make even the fussiest of point and clickers never touch the checkbox to disable it. The help files are complete and come in all sorts of languages, even esperanto. In fact, the user can set all the menus to run in esperanto, falling back on another popular technical language such as turkish or czech if the appropriate translation is not available for Gnulactic Konquest. KDE Toys have been enhanced with The Tea Cooker and AMOR (amusing misuse of resources). The tea cooker is a program which will remind the user when their tea, be it earl grey, fruit, or some user defined (i.e. psilocybe) tea is finished brewing. AMOR, or as I coined during my last acid trip, pacman on crack, is a friendly looking smiley face which does various annoying human-like gestures on the window titlebars giving a personal touch to the desktop. Other features include a full office suite so that you can produce microsoftish documents suitable to photocopy a hundred times over, DivX and MPEG 4 support to watch illegal pirated movies before they reach the video store, and an improved Korganizer scheduler to remind the user of their monthly genital washing and armpit deodorizing before their usual fourteen hour daily coding session. All in all, KDE 2 is less hassle to compile than slitting a Garcia y Vegas cigar with a key, filling the empty wrapper with finely ground buds, gnawing on one side of the tobacco to create a jagged edge, and then slobbering all over both faces of this edge to force the tobacco wrapper to adhere to itself through jagged slobbery self-adherence.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
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The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Spock Went, Spock Wrote, Spock Kicked Ass
Every Labor Day weekend a large portion of the PDJ staff joins 30,000 other freaks at one of the biggest and strangest art festivals in the world - Burning Man - somewhere on the edge of the Black Rock Desert. Our base of operations is always the ultra swank Spock Mountain Research Labs - the World Leaders in Beverage Science and Leisure Technology. This year, we hauled up our computers, printers and a massive digital duplicator, determined to become Black Rock City's third daily newspaper. Even Spock was surprised by our success - news will never be viewed the same on the playa. Read all seven issues of the 2002 Spock Science Monitor for yourself and see why. (More...)
Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
Absinthe is making a come back for the Millennium. Even English people are slurping it down in pubs, eschewing their normal, healthy stouts and ales. And why not? Hell, if the planet is going to explode anyway, why not ride the DEATH WAVE in, and celebrate Y2K with the most entertaining and vicious elixir you can find? Come! Explore the "Absinthe Underground" with El Snatcher, Mr. Bad, and Splicer, as they interview the notorious absinthe bootlegger, Absinthia. (More...)
Eavesdropping on Geeks: 'Star Trek: Discovery' vs 'The Orville'
If you broke into Pigdog's top sekrit headquarters, spying on their mysterious mix of weird science and old-skool geekiness, you'd overhear this conversation: (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)
Johnnie Royale's Guide to Wakes
Wakes can present problems for Bad People of the Future. (If you don't know what a BPotF is, you need to read more of the PDJ.) Sure, your friend is gone and you miss him and that really sucks; it does, I know. But all Bad People of the Future are gonna die, and they have all accepted that fact. They do deserve, however, to have one final kickass party to celebrate all the bad things they've done in the past, present and future. And you, as a friend, have to make sure that their desire for a final send off is well executed (sorry for the pun). That's just the way of BPotFdom. (More...)
