Build Date: Sat Feb 22 15:30:41 2025 UTC
Any magazine without double penetration is a waste of time.
-- Mr. Bad
R. U. Sirius Debuts New Wrestling Magazine
1999-07-28 05:07:03
Actually, it's not ALL about wrestling, there are also tons of raunchy sex articles, which is exactly what you might expect from something entitled, "Gettingit."
After you are done reading about Jessie Ventura, Andy Kaufman, "Incredibly Strange Wrestling," and "Flesh on the Ropes," get a load of "Boys Bending Over," "She's Naked," and "Pregnant Nymphos."
Famous reality phreaker, R. U. Sirius, has purchased himself a copy of the FutureTense Internet Publishing System, the same richy-rich software that brings you the New York Times, Newsweek, and Netscape Netcenter. He also has hired up a gaggle of miscreant net freelancers, bad English people, and naughty sex writers, to run the whole thing and write articles with sensational TITLES... titles that are guaranteed to get tons of search engine hits, but don't necessarily deliver the goods. That is, if you're a porn addict, or Wrestlemania fan. However, Gettingit does have some pretty good writing about weird pop culture stuff, net flotsam, and real gross sex.
We sent Gettingit down to decoding, and their analysis shows that the Gettingit style looks like someone took HotWired, Salon, The Onion, and Suck, crumpled them all into a ball, and smacked them against the wall a bunch of times, and then plopped down on top what may be the ugliest navigation bar of all time. Maybe it would have been better if R. U. has decided to go with the SUPER EVIL TABLOID web layout envisioned in the illustration for his editorial, " Journalism is Dead, Long Live Journalism," which seems to be the philosophical scaffolding that Gettingit sits upon.
R. U. is right, though. People ARE turning to alternative news sources more and more, and sensationalism IS GOOD. Everyone just reads the Sunday paper for the Target ads anyway. Not only do CRAZY sources on the net have better stories, but sometimes those stories are even TRUE. The now defunct zine, Tabloid, had it right, you can be informed and entertained at the same time.
But for sensational journalism to be RIGHT, and GOOD with the LAND, it must be unrelenting, lean, and powerful. Like Tabloid was.
As R. U. says, "....may the best tabloid version of reality reign supreme." We'll see if Gettingit lives up to that ideal.
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The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
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