Build Date: Fri Mar 7 02:00:30 2025 UTC
This is the problem with today's generation of computer geeks. Nobody remembers how to go to Radio Shack and buy 500 blinking LEDs for four dollars.
-- P A U L
Save FAQS.org!
2002-01-22 14:18:00
So, if you're like me, you get in arguments all the time with people on the Innurnet. And when you get in those arguments, you like to have URLs to point to so that people know that you're really fricken serious about what you're talking about, and not just some big blowhard know-it-all bastardo, which in fact I am. So having FAQS.org around has preserved the illusion that you and I are not big assholes, which in fact is only partially true.
Dig it: FAQS.org. Like, it's a site that keeps ALL the FAQs you need, in one easy site, for free, without stupid ads or flashy thingies. And it's been pretty damn permanent, up until now, so you could pretty much tell people that they were stupid, and they should read the relevant RFCs about how stupid they are, and also that the newsgroup to which they are currently subscribed is moderated, because of stupid people like them, and that if they weren't so stupid they'd know that, from reading the relevant FAQ, namely,
http://www.faqs.org/fa qs/by-newsgroup/alt/alt.stupidity.html
...or some such.
Anyways, I was just writing a big-ass flame email to stupid Yahoo! Groups, who are really stupid and make really retarded non-standard digests of their email group postings, which seriously pisses me off because then Gnus can't read the digest automatically, which means I have to slog through it by hand, which is absolutely WRONG because I am a busy man and I have no time for this.
And, of course, I was referring the butt-related persons at Yahoo! Groups to the relevant RFCs which show how butt-related they are (namely, 1341 and 1153), and I was checking the FAQS.org site to make sure these were the right ones, and I realized that FAQS.org has big scary WE NEED MONEY messages all over the place, so then I gave them money.
And then I wrote this article to get you to give them money, so it keeps going on. Because I don't want my cover blown, and I'm sure you don't either. So give FAQS.org some fucken money, eh!? Damn.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The Liquidation of Hobo Junction
Albany, CA's homeless hooverville by the Bay, "Hobo Junction," is going to be torn down by The Man. Entrances are already being blocked off, and it's now difficult and dangerous to get there. Worse, these obstacles are making it hard to get to the nearby HORSE TRACK on foot. Local historian, Pao Tzu, has an overview of situation. (More...)
Juggler Vain attempts to wrestle with the issues around the KPFA shutdown; Big-time wrestling ensues. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
A Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Liquor
Curled up cozy with a good book? All warm and snuggly and thinking about friends far away? So am I, reading the greatest story by the greatest writer -- when he suddenly starts waxing philosophical about liquor! (More...)
Johnny Royale loves his Trackman ultra pointer thingy. It's coolio! Read all about it! (More...)
