Build Date: Tue Jun 9 08:20:17 2026 UTC
Hey... where did TJames go?
-- Master Squid
Ins and Outs for the Year 2001
2000-12-31 19:40:03
Whew! I bet you were worried Mr. Bad wasn't going to give you guidance for WHAT'S HOT and WHAT'S SNOT in the year 2001, weren't you! Hahaha! Oh ye of little faith! Mr. Bad will never, ever let you down. Trust in Mr. Bad to give you lists of futurist predictions and shit! Because that is what Mr. Bad does. He makes lists. That is his job.
| Out | In |
|---|---|
| Boethius | Foucault |
| Fun Saver disposable cameras | ferrets |
| Mork and Mindy lunchboxes | Mork and Mindy sleeping bags |
| MP3 radio stations | Boontling |
| Personal Digital Assistants | Gigantic refridgerator-sized spaceship-running killer AI bots |
| Po Bronson | Lawrence Durrell |
| Mentos | The Devil Dolls |
| R. U. Sirius | edible underwear |
| American Spirits | Natural Blend |
| dot-coms | shit disturbers |
| juggs and hooters | big luscious black butts |
| Draconians | Yeeks |
| cyberporn | racy sidewalk chalk drawings |
| distributed denial of service (DDOS) | distributed denial of freedom (DDOF) |
| The Web | Freenet |
| biscuits and gravy | bed-time stories |
| Captain and Teneille | Just the Captain (No Teneille) |
| MDMA | MDA |
| slashdot.org | kuro5hin |
| Ibiza | quilting |
| Drum and bass | swing dancing |
| Sisqo | Roosevelt Franklin |
| keffiya | razor wire |
| Raquel Darrian | Devon |
| having babies | cloning |
| Jimmy Carter | Subcomadante Marcos |
| "Pirates of Penzance" | "The Mikado" |
| data havens | monoliths |
| hands-free cell phones | OK, I can't keep a straight face about the swing dancing one. Swing dancing is NOT coming back in. EVER. Sorry to mislead you, but it seemed funny at the time. |
| benzine | the right-hand rule |
| XML | Esperanto |
| JSP | LAML |
| sarcasm | harm reduction |
| corndogs | vitamin E lotion |
| .biz | AnarchyNIC |
| Alan Greenspan | Abby Hoffman |
| The 70s | betel nut |
| "Barely Legal" | "Virgins" |
| home fries | fruit cup |
| Newspapers | Messenger pigeons |
| new restaurants | Original Joe's |
| sorghum | quinoa |
| scooters | slutty Republican chicks |
| weapons of Westernesse | Chaotic weapons |
| peer-to-peer | underground |
| Zen buddhism | asian thumbs |
T O P S T O R I E S
America's National Recording Registry Inducts Culturally Significant Artist - Weezer!
America's Library of Congress calls them "defining sounds of history and culture" and "audio treasures worthy of preservation for all time based on their cultural, historical or aesthetic importance in the nation’s recorded sound heritage." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you... Weezer! (More...)
The Crossroads are real and The Blues is a place; The enduring myth of Robert Johnson (More...)
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The quest for knowledge never ends at the super top secret Spock Mountain Laboratory, although it is frequently interrupted by beverage breaks. Recently, a team of crack ethnomixologists returned from a dangerous expedition to the frozen expanse of Canada with the much sought recipe for a Spocktail that is destined to replace blunt force head trauma as the major cause of brain damage in the civilized world. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Last week I had eye surgery and it was certainly one of the least enjoyable episodes of my life. Eye Surgeons like their patients to be conscious enough so that they can move their eyes to the proper position during surgery. (More...)
Pigdog dispatched special correspondent Ratsnatcher for a holiday reconnaissance of America's frozen hell. After ten days of silence, our shortwave radio cackled with Ratsnatcher's static-filled transmission. (More...)
So I was walking around the Tenderloin looking for stray twenty-dollar-bills that might have fallen into gutters, and I was thinking, as I often do, about my mother. (More...)
