Build Date: Mon Apr 21 02:00:35 2025 UTC
Rich powerful people, famous people, spies, political people, ALL have "clones". (Royals do not, except for Hirohito, but his was really obvious.)
-- rotten elf
Get a Life, Get a Job
1999-05-12 15:10:15
These dumbasses have not only been waiting in line to see Star Wars - Episode One - The Phantom Menace (Sheesh, could George have made that any longer?) for over a month and they still got nearly a week to go. All to watch a two hour movie that will play all fucking summer long. And they got gonads to put their silliness all online for the world to see.
Didn't someone tell them that the movie that plays on May 16th is the exact same one that will play on August 16th. The movie ain't gonna change... they are gonna have all summer to see it again and again and again and ... But NOOOOOO, these apparently under unitized assets of society have enough free time to spend nearly six weeks in line to see it first. Good thing that our country isn't locked in a life and death struggle against the forces of evil... Oh... wait we are, only we got Giant "Warturds" that we heave Ten Hundred Thousand miles, so no one in this country is inconvenienced with the thought of fighting or dying - unlike in the movie they waiting to see.
As Mr. Bad once said... "Welcome to the post-scarcity economy, man." To which I add, "Go home, Now!"
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
When you've been up all night sampling other Spocktails and guzzling absinthe, you need a morning pick-me-up with some KICK. Time for a tall glass of Blurry Sharp Meltdown! (More...)
On the Implementation of a Grocery Bag And Overforestation Initiative
Patient Joab and his evil cohort, Patient Steve, develop a proposal for the plastic-v.-paper problem that EVERYONE can be happy with. An EXCLUSIVE from Spock Mountain Research Labs! (More...)
This week: another fine spocktail from the beverage researchers at SMRL! Drink it in peace, because WE DID THE RESEARCH! (More...)
"Gee, I wish I was older."
"So do I." (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
