Build Date: Sun Mar 9 14:20:16 2025 UTC
If you find yourself smoking through a hole in your neck, it's time to quit.
-- Bill Hicks
Talk Show Host Blames Downfall on Chatroom Vixens
1999-07-02 19:48:05
A pornographic photo of wild Australian talk show host David Oates has been making the rounds of the web. It has become the centerpiece in a multimillion dollar law suit, and countersuit, between Art Bell and Oates. The issue at hand is, how did this nasty photo get on the web in the first place?
Two versions of the truth seem to be emerging in the Talk Show Wars between Bell and his arch nemesis, David John Oates. Neither side disputes Oates' weakness for Internet chatroom swinging. But, according to Art Bell's lawyer, Gerard Fox, Oates is claiming that Art Bell induced, or hired, two chatroom floozies to take advantage of his horny chatroom habits.
Art and his lawyer spent the better part of an hour of last night's broadcast scoffing at the notion, and Art patently denied ever knowing the two women.
The Oates' version of the story has it that a "pimpdaddy" Art put these two women up to seducing him online, and published damaging things about him to their respective web sites.
Allegedly, Melany Gavigan, a former disgruntled student of Oates' Reverse Speech school, and a rabid Art Bell fan, lured Oates into a session of steamy "cybersex," where he was persuaded to email her a butt naked photograph of himself for her to use. Playing him for a fool, she then posted it to her web site for the world to laugh at, and Art immediately linked his web site to her web site and encouraged his audience to have a good laugh too.
Another former chatroom girlfriend, Naomi Longson, who goes by the name "Skarlet" online, had such an ICQ romance going with Oates that they even met in person. She sent Pigdog a letter saying that she was even Oates' former fiancee, but broke off the engagement because of Oates' strange "world view," and scary circle of friends.
As part of Oates' complaint against Art Bell, he says that Longson accused him of murder in a statement on her web site. But according to her she did not. Instead, she recounts an intimate conversation with Oates' in which he bragged of killing several assassins who were out to get him because of the fact that he knows too much about Reverse Speech.
In the complaint he accuses Naomi Longson of being an agent of Art Bell. Bell denies this, but we wrote to Ms. Lonston to ask her whether there is any truth to the allegation, and so far we have heard nothing back, despite earlier replies from her clarifying her relationship to the case.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
The Peppermill Is Not Good For You
Paradise lounge on the strip. Expense it, bad boy! (More...)
Report from Spiritual Machines
Arkuat gives you the inside scoop on the "Spiritual Machines" panel and conclave. Wacky excitement ensues! (More...)
The IBM Selectric Typewriter Changed My Life
I ran my hands lovingly across her frame, lightly brushing her metallic nipples with my fingers, admiring the shapes and the ways of her curves, the empathetic hum she produced as I had my way with her, the way she made it all seem so effortless and right... she didn't even seem to mind the way I roughly manipulated her knobs and tweaked her casing. She was extremely tolerant, for a typewriter. (More...)
Songs Of Love And Special Things
Well, dear reader, there's no denying it: Spring has sprung. The air is pungent with the fertile aroma of Romance. And you know what goes with Romance, don't you? That's right, Lover, porn. And not just any porn, but the kind you can sing along to. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)