Build Date: Wed Apr 2 04:50:29 2025 UTC
If I ever need to get rescued by a group of toddlers and a man with a yellow purse whose only extraction plan is to quickly eat Tootsie Rolls, just let me explode with the god damn plane.
-- Sean Baby
Pay No Attention to the Matt Behind the Curtain
1999-05-30 02:00:54
Fresh from hooking an Internet audience of Art Bell fanatics with rotten bait on Thursday, America's favorite cub reporter, Matt Drudge, was hot on the trail of an even bigger trout: one that the Las Vegas Review-Journal netted well before Drudge, which still didn't stop him from claiming the prize fish as a "world exclusive" in Saturday's Drudge Report.
The story -- which Pigdog had previous knowledge of but chose not to report in respect of the privacy of the individuals involved (heck, we can claim anything we want, right Matt?) -- was the bombshell involving Art Bell's son's filing of a lawsuit against a Nevada school district for failing to prevent his (Arthur Bell IV's) rape by the HIV-positive substitute teacher who sexually assaulted him in 1998. It became quickly apparent that this is the "personal problem" responsible for Bell's mysterious intermittent absences from the radio airwaves over the past several months.
This is also the story Drudge claimed he was going to break on Thursday to the thousands of readers of his website, and the same story Drudge promised that Bell would come clean with on his Coast to Coast radio show that same night. Both promises were broken, however, when Bell remained silent and Drudge refused to spill the goods to Art Bell fans gathered on IRC, where he had directed interested readers for further information (after a quick yank-down from the Drudge Report of the earlier claim -- see our earlier story).
Then two things happened, in not-so-quick succession: first, the Review-Journal posted the details of the assault case and lawsuit and noted it as the reason for Bell's retiring act, on Friday. Then, Saturday, possibly still steaming from Pigdog's alleged underestimation of his total readership (aside to Matt: next time you send us a nastygram, please remember to turn off the CAPSLOCK. It hurts our eyes, and we usually read our mail when we're still hung over,) Drudge posted essentially the same story on his site and labeled it as a "**World Exclusive**." Drudge's version was a roughly similar but badly truncated version of the Las Vegas paper's earlier story, but Drudge at least did go out and find one of his ubiquitous "well-placed sources" to provide the scintillating revelation that, basically, Bell's son is pretty well bummed about the whole deal.
How do you get a "World Exclusive" from a story that was already in the public eye at least 12 hours previous and possibly much longer than that? I don't know either, but doesn't it seem like "scoops," much like candy bars, microprocessors and "Internet Celebrityhood," are getting smaller all the time? Or maybe Matt just has some fancy new math he uses for his figurin'.
Stay tuned, natch...
T O P S T O R I E S
California Glory Hole attracts huge crowds
A glory hole at Napa's Lake Berryessa is drawing huge crowds. According to Chris Lee, the general manager for the Solano County Water Agency, the glory hole hasn't been active since 2019, and only restarted operations on Feb 4. (More...)
Republican State Senator busted after soliciting a teenage girl
Republican State Senator Justin Eichorn of Minnesota was arrested for soliciting a teen girl on Monday just hours after he introduced a bill proposing "Trump derangement syndrome" (TDS) as a form of mental illness. (More...)
Parents claim measles is not that bad after having only one child die
The parents of a Texas girl who died from the measles are defending their decision not to vaccinate their daughter. "She says they would still say 'Don't do the shots,'" an unidentified translator for the parents said. "They think it’s not as bad as the media is making it out to be." (More...)
Delusional rich man tries to fire town staff
"I'm mayor now" said write-in mayoral candidate and founder of Pirate’s Booty Snacks Robert Ehrlich after losing the election for Mayor of Sea Cliff, NY. Then he tried to take over the Village Hall and fire everyone. (More...)
Musk claims Xitter security is staffed by idiots
Earlier this month Xitter experienced a massive outage. In an interview, Musk told Fox Business that he believes the attack came from "IP addresses originating in the Ukraine area." (More...)
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Skunk School -- Learn Why Not To Keep Skunks As Pets
There is an alarming trend in pet purchasing habits this fall. People inspired by the WWII film, "Life is Beautiful" -- the one with that annoying Italian guy -- are buying descented skunks by the millions. (More...)
The Ancient and Correct Sake Ceremony
Many Americans have learned to appreciate the delicate, sophisticated flavors of Japanese food and drink, along with the beautifully refined rituals of Japanese dining. San Francisco, as a gateway between East and West, has especially benefited from the flowering of Eastern consciousness in America. It is hardly possible to walk down the street without stepping on somebody's sushi. (More...)
Our man Daemon Agent checks out the heavy heavy sounds of crazy space surf rockers Man or Astroman?. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Absinthia: The Pigdog Interview
Absinthe is making a come back for the Millennium. Even English people are slurping it down in pubs, eschewing their normal, healthy stouts and ales. And why not? Hell, if the planet is going to explode anyway, why not ride the DEATH WAVE in, and celebrate Y2K with the most entertaining and vicious elixir you can find? Come! Explore the "Absinthe Underground" with El Snatcher, Mr. Bad, and Splicer, as they interview the notorious absinthe bootlegger, Absinthia. (More...)
A Day in the Life of a Beverotologist
It was starting to look like a very boring Saturday, trapped as I was in the suburban wastelands of the outer Bay Area, so I called my Able Assistant (AA) and proposed that we perform some Spocktail field tests. For some time I've been working on creating the quintessential cinematic beverage and even tho' SMRL does most of its testing during nocturnal hours, this seemed an opportune time to roll up the sleeves of our labcoats and get some science done. While the beverotology creation tested this day (The Neurotoxin) must be deemed a success, this article focuses more the journey of the experimenters, rather then the science of beverotology. (More...)