Build Date: Fri Mar 7 03:20:31 2025 UTC
Seeing your baby's face each morning would only be a cruel reminder of the nice person you used to be.
-- Mr. Bad
The English Are Crazy For Absinthe!!!!
1998-12-01 18:38:00
Starting tomorrow, the preferred beverage of syphilitic poets and green-haired Burning Man freakers alike will be available in liquor shops across the Kingdom. A Prague-based producer apparently just noticed that England never actually got into the absinthe in the first place, much less the legalistic backlash that banned it from most other European nations at the turn of the century, so it's perfectly legal there. Their new campaign is even declaring the green hallucinogenic to be the "drink of the new Millennium".
T O P S T O R I E S
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The Once & Future King of Dust
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Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
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Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
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In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
Yet another delicious SPOCKTAIL from the SMRL Beverage Science Labs! Check under the cap for your chance to win thousands of fabulous prizes! (More...)
Grow better illegal mushrooms than lousy "Psilocybe fanaticus"
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We here in SMRL's Beverage Research Lab realize that there is more to life than just drinking spocktails. It's important to have other activities. One such activity that we wholeheartedly support is dancing six or more hours to Trance music. So we have designed a drink to accommodate this. (More...)
Paranoid Strippers & Psychotic Crack Dealers (Tales of Christmas Eve)
Christmas day, for the last 17 or so years has bored me. I find that the real fun and excitement always takes place on Christmas Eve. Every other year, it's the excitement of the metaphorical hunt instead of the kill. Otherwise, it's just plain bad craziness. (More...)
During a magnificent sunny day in a fast receding autumn, the Spock Science Monitor reporters once again blew the playa dust off of their computers and covered the 2002 Burning Man Decompression – held every year just east of Portola Hill in beautiful San Francisco. Both an afternoon and evening issues were released to the unsuspecting crowd of freaks attempting to in some small way experience the euphoria of the playa – if but for a brief afternoon far from the desolation of Northern Nevada. (More...)
