Build Date: Sat Feb 22 05:40:21 2025 UTC
I think a man is as big as what makes him mad.
-- Reno Smith
Good news everyone!
2021-08-17 19:38:53
More good news for the fully vaccinated: According to the CDC there have been no deaths from COVID-19 for 99.999% of all fully-vaccinated Americans. Nearly all deaths from the disease are now due to unvaccinated people getting infected and then drowning in their own bodily fluids as their lung tissue gets infected and dies.
The latest prominent figure to join the rotting lung club is Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke, a vaccine critic and microchip fear-monger. As a cardinal in the Catholic Church, Burke was known as a vocal proponent and believer of many unproven and improbable things. As a member of an order where belief without proof or evidence is a job requirement, trying to convince people not to get vaccinated was just the latest salvo in his lifelong battle with reason and logic.
Burke publicly stated that COVID-19 "has been used by certain forces, inimical to families and to the freedom of states, to advance their evil agenda." Now he's face down on a hospital bed with a tube shoved down his larynx as doctors try to get enough oxygen into his necrotic lungs to keep him alive.
Burke also claimed that "There is a certain movement to insist that now everyone must be vaccinated against the Coronavirus COVID-19, and even that a kind of microchip needs to be placed under the skin of every person, so that at any moment, he or she can be controlled regarding health and regarding other matters which we can only imagine as a possible object of control by the state."
No one tried to force Burke to get a vaccine. If they had, he would probably be back at his church spouting nonsense today, since only 0.001% of fully-vaccinated people have died from the virus.
On the plus side, his imminent death may convince some of his followers to get vaccinated now that they can plainly see that the cardinal was full of shit.
We can slow the virus down and reduce the load on hospitals by masking up and keeping socially distant, but to get things back to normal more people will need to get vaccinated, and the number one reason that the vaccine-hesitant become vaccine-takers is because someone they personally know and care about died from the virus. That's literally the only way that anti-vaxxers figure out that maybe they should get vaccinated, when someone they know dies and it occurs to them "that could have been ME."
To get things back to normal the best thing you can do is get vaccinated, and then go out and mingle! Go to a night club, a restaurant, a concert, the gym. Don't wear a mask and start conversations with complete strangers! As more unvaccinated folks get sick and die, more vaccine-hesitant people will become vaccine-takers. As the number of unvaccinated people gets smaller and smaller the virus will stop spreading.
If we all do our part, we can stop this disease, and kill off a lot of annoying, stupid people at the same time. People like Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke.
T O P S T O R I E S
The Future Ain't What It Used To Be
Ideas have taken horrifying shape and rooted into our modern reality. (More...)
The Once & Future King of Dust
Only The Onion could have acquired Infowarts. (More...)
Another Nobel Prize-Winning Author Describes Drunkenness
This book won a Pulitzer Prize. Here's its famous paragraph on getting drunk... (More...)
Why I'm pretty sure JD Vance had sex with a couch
True or false? The answers await us in that magical land where all truths are revealed -- the internet. (More...)
In 2010 Dr. Cheng-Huai Ruan discovered a way to cause a patient with an abnormal heartbeat to get back into a normal rhythm by sticking a finger up the patient's ass. (More...)
WKRP in Cincinnati aired from 1978 through 1982. Howard Hesseman played Dr. Johnny Fever, a DJ from Los Angeles who was fired from his previous job for saying the word "booger" on the air. In the show Hesseman would do some dialogue, introduce a song, and start the song. You'd hear a few notes, but never the whole song. (More...)
C L A S S I C P I G D O G
About 14 years ago when I was on a road trip and stopped in Seattle, I was invited to a party. At this party there were these little tiny glasses sitting in a flat-bottomed bowl of ice. Thin cylinders about an inch in diameter and 4 inches tall, with thick glass at the bottom. Into these were poured frozen AKVAVIT... also known as the water of life. (More...)
First there was the Bloody Mary: Vodka, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire sauce, some spices, and celery. We drank it, and it was good. Then any drink with tomato juice got a prefix of "bloody" attached to it. We drank them, and they were mostly bad. Now Pigdog gets back to basics and introduces The Bloody Dog, a drink with REAL BLOOD in it. HUMAN BLOOD. (More...)
Patient Joab's scientifick editorial discusses aspect of the space-time-beer continuum never before processed by sub-bush-robot minds!!! Too fabulantastic to contempulate! (More...)
This was an old standby back in my poor college days. Back then the goal was to get butt fucking wasted for as little money as possible. The problem was we hated dirt cheap beer - and some weekends, even Henry's was far more lucre then we could scratch together. So we invented Red. (More...)
Extreme pimpin' under pressure ... how to tell a playa from a sucka ... keeping your hoes under control ... tips for mackin' success from Pigdog's own Terrordrone. (More...)
It was the night of the Leonid meteor showers -- the perfect opportunity to break out the evil opaline liquor, get madder than hatters, and test wireless ethernet hardware... Would the plunging meteorites interfere with the 2.4GHz band? What about our delicate brain waves? (More...)
